A Letter of Love to My Boys

a letter of lovePerspective is everything.    All we have is NOW.   It is the response we choose to this life that makes all of the difference.    I have been very blessed to be given two little beautiful gifts in this life, along with a best friend and husband.    We don’t know when it is time to meet our Maker, and I have been thinking lately, if I left tomorrow, what would I want to say to my boys.   I am not the perfect parent by any means, but over the course of this life thus far, these are a few of the lessons I would leave.

A letter to my Beautiful Boys

I don’t know how long I will be here, but I want you to both know how much I love you.   Being your mother has been the greatest gifts in my life (aside from having a wonderful husband and my best friend your dad).

I often wish I could tell you everything I have in my head, and transfer everything I have seen to protect you from hurt or sadness.  But this is one of the greatest things in our lives, is learning and living.  We will stumble yes, but it is how we choose to respond to the moments that make all of the difference.  Learning to love myself from the inside out was one of my most difficult journeys.  Love for self is one of the most important pieces in this life.   You have to realize your strengths and your unique giftings in this world – and realize there is only one of you. Do not envy what others have.  Be comfortable right where you are. You are perfectly made from the inside out and it is your journey to figure this out. You were beautifully made, from the beginning of time by God.    I am far from perfect, and what I have learnt the most in this life, is love yourself and show others the same love you give yourself.

Here are some thoughts that I wanted to bring together so that you can think of these things when you go up and down the hills in this life.  

  • Love yourself, realize you are beautifully made. And yes we will hear things from others  – they may not like who we are or what we are made to be.   This world is full of differences.   Make sure that what you allow to go through your ears is the truth, do not create a fiction based story. The truth always comes from a place of love – not jealousy or envy.    You can control what voices you allow in and what ones you push out.  Remember this.   You have control of your thoughts.
  • If a friend does something for you, or even sends you a nice note or text, thank them for it. Genuine gratefulness has the ability to create ripple effects.   It is like dropping a rock in the water and then all of the ripples go outward.   Remember a kind word, or thank-you makes all the difference.  Also think of something you can do for someone else – expecting nothing in return.    This is the pay it forward concept – whatever good you put out there will come back to you J    It may not be the same way – but by doing good – good will always come back to us.
  • If you see someone in need, or have something you could do without – extend the hand and help. There will be times in your life where you will require help and it is through our actions that these things come full circle (a bit repeating the previous but this is looking to help where you can). It is important to maintain balance with this, because you must care for your own health first.     Expect nothing in return.   If you live your life this way, great things will circle back.
  • Get rid of clutter in your head, house, and life. Clutter can be defined by items, clouding thoughts, or people that zap the life out of you.   Clean up, it will help you in all that you do.
  • Remember good friends like you unconditionally. These friends will not hurt you; they will not try to make you to do things you feel uncomfortable with.   They will not be spiteful, jealous or envious. Good friends will make you laugh so hard your belly hurts, you feel comfortable and not judged in any way.  A special friend is someone that really “gets you”.  They understand the person you are. Remember this.  Surround yourself with people that like you just the way you are.
  • Exercise, stretch, and keep your body healthy. Take care of your body and don’t overwork it too.    Make sure you rest when you need it.  This is the only body you have.
  • Eat foods that are good for your body and are not overly processed. What you put into your body is what you will get out. Rinse, floss, and brush your teeth gently and regularly. Take care of the body you have been given J
  • Enjoy life, don’t take for granted any of the moments. We are only here for a short time, so focus on the beauty not the darkness.
  • Every day, pause, reflect and look back on the good things. Be thankful for the little things.  Also, look at your life and focus on what is working.  If gratitude is the focus of your heart you will always be happy.
  • It is ok to say NO. Boundaries are healthy. Sometimes when we say No we feel guilty, but if the No is coming from a place where you are taking care of your own health and welfare, it is perfectly healthy.   Let go of the guilt and realize you are taking care of yourself.
  • What you see in others sometimes is what you may see in yourself. Make sure you evaluate and look inside and get rid of the bad.   Remove any envy, anger and resentment if it exists – as these items will bring us down in all we do.  Fill your heart with love, kindness, and beauty.
  • Do not let jobs, possessions or wealth be your focus in this life. These things will only bring temporary satisfaction.  It is love, and love for life that will bring long term happiness.
  • Priorities, establish them in your life so you can make healthy decisions. In my life, my priorities are taking care of my own health (this means spending alone time, exercise, and taking time to pray and be with God), then dad and I ensuring our relationship is strong, then spending time with you and dad, and then family and then friends.  If my own bucket is nurtured, everything else will fall into place.
  • Forgive and let go. Do not let anger, or resentment feed your life.  It is important to forgive others and let God hand the rest.   He wants you to rest, so He is there to help.    You can forgive, but that does not mean allow people to walk all over you.  There is a difference.  
  • Find someone to love that loves you for who you are. Choose someone that makes you feel full.   Someone that when you see them you get excited.   Someone that treats you with respect, love and kindness.     Find someone that would be your friend for life that you can learn and love with.
  • Pray, if you are struggling through the day or need to let go of something. Ask God to help you navigate through this life.  He has been so gracious to me.   He is a miracle worker.   All He asks is that we trust Him completely.      Lean not on your own understanding, reach for prayer and ask Him to intervene.
  • Lastly, always be truthful, honest, kind to others. Be yourself, you both have an amazing gift for love for people.  This is an awesome gift.  Life to love life and people.  Embrace the good.

I am so thankful for the gift of you two bundles in my life.  I cannot imagine life without you.   God has blessed me with abundance.  In the moments where my breath was taken away, I focused on love, prayer and gratitude and it carried me through.  Thank-you two boys for teaching me to be patient, thank-you for loving me the way you do.    Thank-you for cuddles, for grandma kisses, butterfly kisses, eskimo kisses, mommy kisses and Marcus and Drew kisses.    You have been and always will be the best thing that has happened to both your dad and I.  We love you, we are so very proud of you, and we believe in you.   And know, if something ever happens to us, we will be with you.    

Love You so much you fly high in the sky, and love you more than you say.

Mama

Organized Chaos

organized chaosDo you feel organized?   How is that calendar doing, have you color coded the events, sports, music lessons?    Do you sometimes feel that you can’t find space?  

We all hate to admit it, but many times we need to press the pause button and create some space.

Space.   All I need is some space.

I  believe that our culture is losing out on the space that creates that magical place.

A magical place of bliss, of love, of living truly in the moment.

The first time I set eyes on my beautiful sons, was a magical place of bliss.   Love at first sight, pure bliss in that moment.    There have been many moments that have come since then, but as I age, the sands of time slide through my fingertips.

Space and time.  

Is the space that you are filling in your calendar filled with the right kind of stuff?

When the space is driven by stuff, events, monetary items, wants vs needs,  then families start to drift apart.   They drift by one another like sail boats on the ocean.

“Our world suffers through an anarchy of rebellion, mixed roles, and missed opportunities.   It urges people to choose their own lifestyle, without ever thinking of the ramifications of those choices.” (Sacred Parenting, Gary Thomas)

We all see it don’t we? 

We choose to be busy.   If we are real with ourselves, the chaos is certainly organized by no other than ourselves.  

We have a choice.    To pause, and enjoy the moments that matter.

I am learning, and thankful for help through the process.   God’s gentle hand reminding me on what needs my focus vs what does not.  

It is not the income we make, the house we live in, the sports we play that define us.  It is the love that we share with one another, and the pausing that we do when another human soul needs our support.    

If we focus on love, then everything will fall into place.

May you be blessed with a pause today that allows some space in your day.

 

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14 ESV

 

 

 

How does your garden grow? (by Vanessa & Erica)

This post was done a little differently, me and this amazing young lady I know did a combo post.   I wrote one paragraph and she wrote another.    I hope you enjoy this post, because it provides a great perspective on the garden we grow in our minds.  How does your garden grow

There is a little voice inside of me.   At first she is a quiet talker, planting seeds hoping the garden will grow.     I water the seeds and then the seeds become plants.    The voice then becomes louder, and the plants become vines inside of me.   The voice is intertwined in my inner most soul.    I believe the words, they begin to define me, and I allow the voice to control my thoughts.

 My thoughts become consumed with negativity and I feel trapped and taken in by the vines and pricked by the thrones.  I continue to surrender my power to the voice inside me because I have been caring for this garden from the start. There is safety and comfort in the familiarity of this everyday routine.  The vines overwhelm the garden, and begin to cause overpopulation. My mind has been invaded and continued to believe the lies that are intertwined I am resistant to change for the fear of the unknown. There seems to be no way out.  Can I choose what flourishes in my garden and can I make a change?

We all have been in situations where we are overwhelmed and our thoughts consume us.  These thoughts also control us.  They affect our sense of self, the love we have for ourselves, and the outward interaction that occurs with others.   How do we grow a beautiful garden inside of our minds?   How do we cut the vines, and produce abundance in fruit and flowers? 

 The answer to this question lies deep in our heart, waiting to be unearthed. We simply must step back and look at the garden. Do we want the vines to resemble how we go about our lives? Or do we want something different? Life is made up of over thousands of moments and the only one that is for sure is NOW. So we can live in fear or we can take the first step to creating a love for ourselves and our garden by challenging those old thoughts and being grateful for each moment. 

What do you choose today?   Do you choose a garden of vines and thrones to suck out the beauty?  Or do you choose a garden full of color and abundance?

Take a breath, and breathe in all that you were meant to.  You are beautifully made.   Water the good and pull the weeds, you are the gardener.  Before you know it, flowers will bloom.

What do your eyes see?

IMG_1479Yesterday for the first time I realized that the lens I look through is so different now.  Years ago, I let my mind wander into the “what ifs” , I spun my wheels, I made a million lists and didn’t rest until all were complete.

Today,   I am thankful for seeing the wind flowing through the trees and notice the sparkle in the leaves.   I see the birds dance across the lawn.   I notice every movement and realize all of the beauty.

Gratitude is the center.

Love flows through every inch of me.

Every day I wake up and start the morning routine, and as I drive to work, I thank  Him for second chances.   My eyes begin to tear, and I am so full with the love I have at my center.  

The laughter in a child, the beauty in everything.

How can we make gratitude at center?

Do we need to slow down to smell the roses? 

Run, lists, endless items on the “to do lists”.

Is this a choice?    Do you have the power to choose something different??

Our thoughts and choices we can control.   Where do you choose to focus your lens today?

Remember, the power is in you.

 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

Happiness: 15 Things to Start Doing More

nesschesters:

Really enjoyed this read by this young inspirational girl – guest post

Originally posted on LancoraPerla:

  1. Drink more water and green tea: try to drink around 8 cups of water a day. Staying hydrated is so important for; healthy skin, brain function, good digestion and more! Green tea is great for detoxing your body and boosting metabolism.
  2. Go for a walk/run: perfect for distressing and boosting endorphins :)
  3. Read a book: improve your memory, knowledge, concentration and language abilities. Stuck for something to read? I recommend checking out the Good Reads website for relevant reading suggestions.
  4. Don’t compare yourself to others: How many times have we heard this one right? But it’s so important to remind yourself that you don’t need to be doing what everyone else is doing.
  5. Try yoga or mindfulness: Both of these have really helped me handle stress and improve my general happiness. I use the Calm app, which is great for guided meditation.
  6. Stop procrastinating! Yeah I know, this isn’t always…

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An Ordinary Day

an ordinary dayIt was an ordinary day.   

  • Prep the meat, throw it in the crock pot for lasagna. – check
  • Make the lunches  – check
  • Have the soccer and ball hockey stuff ready.  – check
  • Get the hairstuff out – check
  • Get my working mom clothes on – check
  • Get breakfast ready – check
  • Get the list out for after school – check
  • Write the note to the teacher – check
  • Get my laptop ready for the 8am meeting – check
  • Drop the kids off at the before school program – check

The morning went well, we worked as a well oiled machine.   As I drove to work I asked myself, how did it go so well given I only had 4 good hours of sleep?  It was a full moon last night – so restless, was praying all night to fall asleep.  What did I do differently today???

I prayed, I started the day in prayer, and gave thanks as each item worked out.    I hit no red lights, made it to work with time to spare.  As I entered the office, I felt tired, but ready for the day.   The day went by and the next phase began.  Two busy boys needing supper, and out the door to two different activities 15 minutes apart.   All worked well, we all had smiles on our faces, how could this be?   

The day went on and I saw my two boys and I was so very proud of them.   They contributed, they took the lead.  

Gratitude.

Pause and reflect.

Give thanks.

Check.

This ordinary day became extraordinary.

He led, He helped, and He showed me how special my two boys are.  They need a mom that empowers and doesn’t control. 

I was so proud of them today, and I have realized that I am here for them for a short time.     I am here to help, lend a hand, give a perspective and ultimately to guide.   Not to control.  By guiding – they thrive.

He is in control.

I give thanks, I am so grateful for this day that may seem ordinary – but to me became extraordinary. 

Thank-you God. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17).

Dear Vanessa ~ Fact or Fiction

nesschesters:

#ourthoughts #fact #fiction #worry Do you worry and do your thoughts consume you a times? Pop by for a read #Godisincontrol

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

Dear Vanessa,

I find many times I concentrate on the what ifs.  If something good happens to me, I automatically think there is a catch.   I know this sounds bad, but I can’t help myself.    Do you have any thoughts or advice that would help with coping?   I have prayed many times for help and for ease of my mind, but it is almost like it is ingrained.  

Sincerely ,

Worry Wart.

Dearest Worry Wart,

photoAs a young girl, I gravitated to a place of fiction, not fact.   What do I mean by that?   Much of my reactions were driven by my emotions.   Much of my feelings were internalized, and I allowed others insecurities or reactions define who I was.

The voices were my truth. The voices defined who I was.

I believe that everything happens for good, and I see the silver lining in my life now.   I am highly…

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