An Ordinary Day

an ordinary dayIt was an ordinary day.   

  • Prep the meat, throw it in the crock pot for lasagna. – check
  • Make the lunches  – check
  • Have the soccer and ball hockey stuff ready.  – check
  • Get the hairstuff out – check
  • Get my working mom clothes on – check
  • Get breakfast ready – check
  • Get the list out for after school – check
  • Write the note to the teacher – check
  • Get my laptop ready for the 8am meeting – check
  • Drop the kids off at the before school program – check

The morning went well, we worked as a well oiled machine.   As I drove to work I asked myself, how did it go so well given I only had 4 good hours of sleep?  It was a full moon last night – so restless, was praying all night to fall asleep.  What did I do differently today???

I prayed, I started the day in prayer, and gave thanks as each item worked out.    I hit no red lights, made it to work with time to spare.  As I entered the office, I felt tired, but ready for the day.   The day went by and the next phase began.  Two busy boys needing supper, and out the door to two different activities 15 minutes apart.   All worked well, we all had smiles on our faces, how could this be?   

The day went on and I saw my two boys and I was so very proud of them.   They contributed, they took the lead.  

Gratitude.

Pause and reflect.

Give thanks.

Check.

This ordinary day became extraordinary.

He led, He helped, and He showed me how special my two boys are.  They need a mom that empowers and doesn’t control. 

I was so proud of them today, and I have realized that I am here for them for a short time.     I am here to help, lend a hand, give a perspective and ultimately to guide.   Not to control.  By guiding – they thrive.

He is in control.

I give thanks, I am so grateful for this day that may seem ordinary – but to me became extraordinary. 

Thank-you God. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17).

Dear Vanessa ~ Fact or Fiction

nesschesters:

#ourthoughts #fact #fiction #worry Do you worry and do your thoughts consume you a times? Pop by for a read #Godisincontrol

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

Dear Vanessa,

I find many times I concentrate on the what ifs.  If something good happens to me, I automatically think there is a catch.   I know this sounds bad, but I can’t help myself.    Do you have any thoughts or advice that would help with coping?   I have prayed many times for help and for ease of my mind, but it is almost like it is ingrained.  

Sincerely ,

Worry Wart.

Dearest Worry Wart,

photoAs a young girl, I gravitated to a place of fiction, not fact.   What do I mean by that?   Much of my reactions were driven by my emotions.   Much of my feelings were internalized, and I allowed others insecurities or reactions define who I was.

The voices were my truth. The voices defined who I was.

I believe that everything happens for good, and I see the silver lining in my life now.   I am highly…

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Dear Vanessa ~ Love One Another

nesschesters:

Dear Vanessa – Love one another. #love #loveoneanother #messylife

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

love one

Sometimes it is hard to love one another isn’t it?   Life gets messy, people are emotional, stuff happens.

But we are asked to respond in love.     Before we can do this, we must love ourselves.   Some may be thinking, I already love myself, its simple.   But do you really love yourself from the inside out?

I believe that in order for us to love ourselves, we must nurture ourselves and not look to external means for validation.   Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  • Do you ever feel envy?

  • Do you ever feel jealous?

If you answered yes to one of these questions, then perhaps you need to investigate the why.

It has taken me most of my life to love myself.   I often wondered why this was.   But as I look back, I know that when I looked in the mirror I did not see beauty.   I saw…

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Mothers ~ A Gift Given from Up Above

imageMothers – we all have them, and when we reflect on these amazing women, we smile.   Women that give their 24 hours a day to the ones they love.  These amazing women often think about everyone else before they thinking about themselves.   

I am blessed, to have a mother of strength, and one that has always been there for me for anything I ever needed.  She has always been there through the dark times, and the light times.   I cannot imagine my life without her and am so very proud to call her my mother.  

We have been through the good, the bad and the ugly.   Every step of the way, each one of us has been strength for the other.    There are so many moments I will not forget, and moments that I felt like my mom put up with so much from me.   Every time she would turn the cheek and shower me with love and forgiveness.    My mom has showered me with unconditional love my entire life, and if I can be half of the mother she is – I would do a fantastic job.  

Together we have learnt reliance on something greater than ourselves to get through the hard times, and in the good times we are so grateful for each other.   Day after day God shows me His gentle hand. He is always there, and always promises triumph. God is in control and has shown us so many miracles, and much love.  

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

We are meant for an abundant life, if we learn that we are not in control – that He is there to lead, lift, carry and hold. I thank Him every day for the perspective in the pain, and the love that always shows through.  I thank God for blessing me with a mother that loves me unconditionally and is always there for me.

Today lets all reflect on how amazing our mothers are. For those of you that have children, we tend to be hard on ourselves on our ability to “mother”. We are our worst critics… Remember to always give yourself a basket of grace. REST.

I adore my mother, she is a testament of strength and has a heart full of gold. She has always put others before herself (sound familiar)?? In dedication to this amazing woman, I thought I would write a poem to capture my thoughts.

A Letter to My Mom by Vanessa Chesters

As a babe, I look up at my mom and see her blue eyes.

They are beautiful and bright.

The love radiates and flows.

A love that cannot be explained, unconditional.

A bond that is everlasting and shared by two.

Over the years, the eyes change – brought by love, hope, heart ache and pain.

The lines and creases begin to show.

The lines define the moments in time where there was much happiness and sometimes tears.

She is strength, she is life, she is warm, she is a fighter and she defines love.

She has helped me most to grow.

She has helped me through my life and my “lows”.

She feels my pain when I hurt, and over time as I grow, I feel her hurts too.

We are one; the bond can never be undone.

She healed my wounds when they were deep, she has whispered sweet words as a child to me when I sleep.

We share a bond, that is so strong.

All through the years, I know this much is true, I have become the woman I am today because of you.

You are my mother – a women of strength, determination, living with your heart and soul.

Two are better than One

imageTwo are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NAS)

Over the years I have been lucky enough for almost half of my life to have my best friend by my side. 

What I have realized is that together we are strong.   

We have been through many trials together, and have grown up together.  There are so many moments I reflect on, that without him by my side I would have been lost.  He is strong when I am weak.

The question I ponder as another year passes, is why do so many give up so quickly on the relationship.  

In this day, it seems that individuals are ready to call it quits when things get tough or their partner is not behaving as they would like them to.  The expectations grow and resentment spills into the relationship.

I am sure the statistics are stifling, divorce has become commonplace. What happened to sticking together through thick and thin? I believe that society gears our girls up to thinking that the princess will marry the prince who will carry her off on a white horse in a beautiful sunset.

The reality is, the princess marries the frog or vice versa (dependent on perception).

Marriage is not a fantasy  – it is a commitment.  

  • it takes work from both sides,
  • it takes forgiveness,
  • turning the cheek,
  • biting ones tongue,
  • seeing the good before the bad,
  • and taking a deep breath and letting go.  

I have learned that men and women speak and think quite differently. I have observed that many spouses don’t see divorce coming when it is at their door, primarily because the communication at some point ceases to exist. The female expects the male to “know” what she is thinking; meanwhile the male does not hear any complaints – so that must mean she is happy. Women think very fluidly, everything in life is interrelated. If someone has an issue with her at the beginning of the day, it seems to feed into all areas of her life. Whereas men seem to compartmentalize things, work is work, home is home, kids are kids. So if for example, there is an argument earlier in the day – that moment has since passed – it is not related to the evening time spent with his wife. I know I am talking in a somewhat stereotypical way, but for the most part this is how women vs. men think. Most men see love through intimacy, whereas most women see love through actions (whether it be physical, or words). A marriage break down occurs usually when one side of the equation does not want to understand the other side any more. He/She no longer understands me, no longer acknowledges my feelings, speaks for me…. Do you see the tone? It is the comparison trap. The comparison trap then lends to a sense of entitlement which in turn leads down a road where, the only option is for the marriage to cease to exist. “I am a different person now, we are on different paths”. I often wonder, if the person left the marriage and we were to fast forward down 5-10 years would it be the same pile?

I am not saying that everyone should stay in a marriage – because for some abuse exists, or staying in the relationship causes more harm than good.  

I am no expert, but here are the things I have learned in my relationship:

  • God brings us to the perfect partner that we can learn from and grow with.
  • No one is doing more than the other, we each have our strengths and the weaknesses are offset by the other spouses’ strengths.
  • We both have personalities that complement one another and make us stronger as a family.
  • Leading by example in our marriage will have a positive effect on our children in years to come.
  • My husband is my soul mate and my best friend, we will have times where we will not see eye to eye – but there is nothing we cannot get through together.
  • Resentment only leads to dysfunction within a marriage, and it will not be present in our home.
  • My husband is the greatest daddy I know, and has an amazing capacity for love like no other; I am blessed to have him in my life.
  • We need to seek to understand before judging any circumstance.
  • Work things out together before letting them fester.
  • I have his back and he has mine.
  • And last but not least, two are better than one.

Today I celebrate the strength and love that we share on our 16th wedding anniversary.  Thank-you sweetie for always being there for me.

May you be blessed. <3

Celebrating My Roots ~ My Dad

imageWe all have roots.   The roots of our lives serve as a foundation in the people we have become, and contribute to where we want to be.

My dad has been a big part of my roots.   Today he celebrates his birthday, and I celebrate what he has given me.  Caring, loving, and gives his heart to every person he comes across.  He leads with his heart.    In the storms in our life, he has always tried to navigate through by looking at the positive, and putting one foot in front of the other.

Family and helping others is the center of his life.   That is what my dad has passed onto me.

My dad loves with his heart and soul.  

We love people, we love meeting them, learning about them, and lending a hand where we can.  You may call this aspect of our personalities  – wearing our hearts on our sleeves.  Many see this as a weakness, but I would argue it is an amazing strength.   It is the foundation that has helped us build relationships, and expect nothing in return.

 

This is a foundation of strength and love.

My dad taught me how to live, love, fall and get back up.   He also taught me that it is ok to wear your heart on your sleeve, because chances are if you do, many will love you back in the same way. What you put out there comes back full circle.

Thank-you God for my dad, that has contributed to my roots and the love in my life.   Happy Birthday Dad!!

Dear Vanessa ~ Sharing Your Story For His Good

nesschesters:

Sharing your story #lettinggo #sharingyourstory

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

sharing-your-storyThis Dear Vanessa is dedicated to letting go, and helping with the healing in this life.   I see how God weaves all things for good.   He has done so much work in my life, and I am so thankful for His Grace.  My hope is that you benefit from the read, and can see the value in letting go and giving it to God.

Secrets…. Fear… Judgement… Pain…

We all have experienced these feelings.   We push the event downward, or we avoid talking about it.  But did you know that by sharing we can heal and let go of the shackles that are holding us back from becoming all that we were meant to be?  Step out in Faith.

Do you have a story stored deep inside that needs to find its way out?  Is it a work of God in your life, or an experience that…

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