Feeling Out of Control ~ Time to Refocus?



I wish I had it all the time.   

If you knew me, you would know I am a bit of an emotional being.   Some likely are thinking right now as they read this, “a bit?”.    

For most of my life, I wondered why I felt so much.    I would watch a Disney cartoon, and would cry when something sad happened.  Yes a cartoon!    As a young child, I could feel others emotions, and at times, could sense what they were thinking.     It was extremely confusing as a young person.       I would often think that the emotions that came at me were my fault.

I do believe that we are what we think.    In these circumstances, I wish I could turn back the hands of time and realize that those emotions were not mine.    I did not directly affect the emotions; I just had a little gift that allowed me to understand and really see people.     

The emotions would absorb into my soul.     I lacked boundaries that allowed me to push those emotions back.  The need is to enable and let go.  

I am learning; to control what I let in now and what I let go.    I have also learnt that I could turn this characteristic into a gift.   I could let the walls down and listen, but realize that the burdens are not for me to bear.     I can provide advice, but I cannot fix or repair.  

Each individual is called to take responsibility for their lot in this life.   God definitely is the navigator, and helps direct our sails along the way, but we have to choose our direction.    I have the power to choose, while leaning on His wisdom and the love of others.

But I too, like many of you, need some tweaking in my life.      I do have a lack of self-control when my emotions run high, this happens when there is lack of sleep or space for me.   Prioritization is a big part that affects space and time.

A lot of times I believe I need to be superwoman for everyone, while leaving myself behind.   Then the ones I love suffer around me.   Lack of self-control spills over, and the wife, mama, sista, daughter and friend appears to be messy.   It can be a bit of an out of body experience!  Recognizing this is half the battle, the other half is left up to me.   How do I choose to respond, what do I choose to do going forward?

Change; adjust, reprioritize, and refocus.    Realizing I lost sight again of my priorities.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)”

Priorities they are important, they are my anchors.  These anchors produce so much fruit in my life.


Where are you centered today?   Do you need some time to re-prioritize?  You are important.

I am grateful that you have popped by today.  May you be blessed.




Lean Not on Your Own Understanding

image (4)Have you ever felt fear that rocks you to your core?   Have you felt the tremble when you may not know what happens next? Or your heart beats so fast because you are filled with worry?

I have been there so many times, and every time, I feel like I am being asked to Trust completely.     We all have a choice not to allow our minds to race down a path of anxiety and worry.   But sometimes if we have not nurtured ourselves, our bodies give into the fear.

For me, when this happens, prayer comes into play.   Something I don’t talk about often is that as a young teen I suffered from depression.   The depression at times enveloped me.   I believed the lies; I believed I wasn’t worthy or good enough.   I feared for what the future may bring. The “What if’s” consumed me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

(Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version (NIV))

I find it hard at times to get off of the path of worry, but His voice reassures me.   I turn to prayer, to Him. In prayer and thanksgiving I present my requests to Him.   A friend hurting, someone ill, a sick child, a heart breaking, a love one lost, the list can go on. We create images in our minds of what this “what if” reality is.  

Lean not on your own understanding.

Here’s the thing we cannot control what happens, the one thing we can control is our response to the moments.   Sometimes the response we choose creates our reality.   The response can make all the difference between thriving and suffering.  

The fact is – God is in control.   Prayer is the most powerful thing that we can use in the moments when we feel like our mind is slipping out of control.    

All He asks is for us to Trust.  

Dear friend, lift up your worries today, and let them go.   Remember the only thing we can control is the response we choose, the rest is up to God.

Dear Lord God,

You know my needs, my worries and my wants.   I present my requests to you for safety and good health. I thank-you Lord for taking care of me and showing me the light in darkness.   Your yoke is easy.  I give my life to you, be my eyes to see what you want me to see, be my ears to hear what you want me to hear, let my mouth speak the words you want me to speak. I pray for your protection to surround our family, and the ones reading this today. I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

May you be blessed,


You have the power to “pause” and slow down

Precious moments

In this day of cell phones, electronics, and instantaneous communication we are always plugged in.  Too often, we are running, racing from point A to B, and by the end of the day we will frazzled, overwhelmed, and weak.   No energy left for anything or anyone.   Have you ever been there? 

You hear another beep on your phone….. Do you answer?

Do you remember the story of Mary and Martha in the presence of Jesus?   Grace was in their presence, but Martha was too busy preparing.   Meanwhile, her sister Mary “paused”, she didn’t perform she took a breath and paused.

In this race we can be Martha, or pause and be Mary.   We have a choice, God has given us the power of choice.  

We can choose to slow, pause, and hold onto the moment.  

This can be difficult in a world that reveals to us that if we join the race we will be better off or meet their expectations.   But whose expectations do we really seek?

I seek to please Him.   You have to ask yourself today, where do my priorities lie?   Do they lie in the material things of this world, or do they lie in a bed full of roses where the smell is full of love?  And where love blossoms in every moment?

An essential step in ensuring we can be plugged into every moment is the ability to nurture our “self”.   In order to be functional beyond ourselves, this must come first.   Find a few moments a day even a half an hour where you can nurture and love yourself.  Treat yourself to a coffee, book, connect with God, take a walk or a relaxing bath so you can renew.  

The next step is establishing a core list of priorities that you can navigate your decisions for yourself and your family.  My priority list is:

1)      Nurture self  part of nurturing myself is ensuring that I connect in the morning, during the day and evening with my Father up above.

2)      Nurture my relationship with my number 1 supporter – my husband.

3)      Nurture my kiddo’s

4)      Nurture my relationships immediate family and close friends

Everything else in this life is just “stuff”.  The relationships and love are most important. 

When we make decisions and navigate on our core priorities, it is easier to establish boundaries and let go of the elements that are less important.

You have the power to choose to pause and smell the roses my friend.  You have the power to be Mary.

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42, NIV)

Who do you choose to be my friend Martha or Mary? 

Take a breath and pause.

The power is in you!


Have you felt like Martha?  Or do you have strategies like Mary, in “pausing” and immersing yourself in the moment?

Do you have superwoman syndrome?

untitledDo you have superwoman syndrome?  Do you ever feel like you are running like a chicken with your head cut off?

I am a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a friend, and a co-worker.   Running from A to B, and sometimes wondering if there is enough left for me? 

Trying to find a balance… Balance what’s that?

It is easy for this to happen in our lives, as women I truly believe we have this innate ability to see what others need.   We look to fulfill the need and sometimes, do so by overextending ourselves.  Sometimes the lines get blurred, and we give and give until our glass is overflowing. 

The example of the overflowing glass of water:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.” It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

I loved this example, because it relates to how we take on more than we can handle.  How our boundaries in life can be blurred by holding on too long, looking to be the savior to our friends and family, and feeling heavy.  But God says,

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30 NIV)

Come to me, and I will give you rest…. Is it that simple?! YES!  Lift up your worries, trust in God to take care of others when you need to nurture or care for yourself.   He is our Saviour and you need not take on that role.

Love yourself enough to let the burdens go.   Start with taking care of yourself first, then your core family unit.   If you feel like you have more to give after that, they take on small pieces.   You do not have to function at 100% in all areas of your life, only you set the bar that has become unreachable.  And remember, it is perfectly fine to say “no” or not commit to something right away, sleep on it or pray about it before you commit fully.  Ask God to help you prioritize.

Dear Lord God,

Too often we take on more than we can handle, help us to lift up our worries to you Lord God, you are in Control.   Help us to focus on the right things, help us to know when to say “no” and feel good about it.  We look to you God, help us relieve our burdens and let us feel light.  I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen. May you be blessed, Ness

Here is another wonderful blog posted that talks about priortization, how do you chose to spend your life –


Advent Week 4 – Renewal

imagesOver the past four weeks, I have written about the following themes:

1)    Rest

2)    Reflection

2)    Hope

3)    And now, Renewal

God wanted me to hear the words I was writing, especially in this season.  My heart has been heavy over the past couple of months.   Heavy with burden, heavy because I feel the pain that others are going through.    My heart has been softened by the hand of God, and sometimes I just wish I could take the pain away.   I know that this is not my role, it is God’s.  He is in control, and He will relieve the suffering in His perfect time.

Matthew 11:28-29 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.


Is your heart heavy this time of year, especially when we see such turmoil across the land? 

Or is it light? 

Have you lifted up your thoughts, worries and prayers? 

Have you stopped making lists and allowed the peace, joy and serenity to fill your mind?

May I trust in You, Lord, and do good;

May I dwell in the land and feed from Your faithfulness.

When I delight myself in You,

You will give me the desires of my heart.

I will commit my way to You and trust in You,

And you will bring it to pass.

You will bring forth my righteousness like the light,

And my justice like the noonday.

May I rest in You and wait patiently for You;

I will not fret because of those who prosper in their way,

Because of those who practice evil schemes. (Psalm 37:3-7)


We are entering the most wonderful time of the year. This is a time when our Saviour was born to bring us peace, understanding, and freedom from the shackles.    All we have to do is Trust, and give it all to the Divine workings of our Maker.   

During this Christmas Season, renew your mind; allow the peace, joy, understanding to consume your thoughts.    Remove the lists, the running, and enjoy every moment.    Immerse your thoughts in love and joy, and thanksgiving.

As I close before the Christmas season, I am going to give my worries, thoughts and fears to God so that I can concentrate on the “right” things this time of year.   So thankful for you Jesus, thank-you for always being there and coming into this world to save us.


My Christmas Note to God

Where are you Christmas?

Why is there so much pain?

I pray for those families who are dealing with loss of a loved one.  I pray for You to bring them solace and peace of mind during this season in their lives.  I know You can –  our wonderful Saviour.

Where are you Christmas?

Why are so many in need?

I pray for You to bring hope to those in need during these difficult times.

I pray for my family, bring them strength during this season in our lives.

I come to you Lord and I must lay down all of these burdens, expectations and requests at your feet..  They are too much for me to carry, I don’t have the answers but I know You do.

I pray for Me Lord God, fill my mind with your peace, understanding and wisdom.  Teach me Lord to walk in your ways and to set an example for others in all I do.   Give me strength when I feel like I have nothing left.

Where is Christmas?

Christmas is here, everywhere I look.

Christmas is inside our hearts, and in the hearts of those we love and care about.

Christmas is that special sparkle in your child’s eyes.

Christmas is in the smile that a loved one or friend gives to you.

Christmas is in the laughter and love.

Christmas is in each one of us.

Thank-you Jesus for coming into this world to bring us love, peace and joy.   I pray for you to fill everyone in this world with your love in their hearts; soften them and let them rest and renew their minds and souls to concentrate on the “right” things.

May you be blessed ~Vanessa

Guest Post ~ Run to Jesus by Naomi Fata


I have been blessed to meet Naomi through her blog, and would like to welcome her as a guest post. 


Always running. My mom tells me that since I was a girl I have woken up everyday ready to go 100 miles an hour. Focused. Driven. Feeling the need to accomplish. To move forward. To run through each day.

Success from the world’s point of view is based on how much we accomplish. Vast accomplishments bring praise and accolade. It makes us feel good. People look on us with admiration.

This focused inner drive carried over to my Christian life as well. After all we are told to run the race set before us. With my natural eyes I saw this race as that of works: how much I could accomplish in the church, how much witnessing I had done, how much I had read the Bible, or any other good work I had accomplished. But is this what Scripture meant in Hebrews 12:1?

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,(NIV)

I want to run my race and run well.

It reminds me of my years of jogging and cross country races. I was never good; never the fastest. I just ran for the fun of it. I am not an award winning runner. But I run, not giving up.

Reflecting on my Christian race I don’t think God cares about the speed, or our accomplishments. He cares about our faithfulness and our fellowship with Him.

Run to Jesus not parallel to Him

Run to Him not for Him

To Him for strength

To Him for grace

To Him for direction

Desperate for Him. Running.

To Him for the peace my heart so desperately needs

To Him to hear His voice calm my anxious thoughts

To Him for all that I need

Run to Jesus.


Is not this the epitome of our Christian race? Running to Jesus. 

I would love to hear from you. Feel free to stop by my blog www.christianresourceministry.com and take advantage of any of our free resources which include pintable verse cards for children’s Sunday school, and bookmarks of our poems. Have a blessed day running to Jesus.



Have you felt overwhelmed or overloaded?

Have you endured pain?

Do you physically and emotionally feel depleted?

Does it seem like one issue after another continues to happen?

Don’t give up.

There is always hope, and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Life can feel light…. All you have to do is Trust, and lift up your thoughts or worries to Him. 

The story of Joseph in the book of Genesis reveals how life can bring many struggles.   Joseph was treated poorly by his brothers, who later sell him into slavery. He encounters many trials in life.  But one things that stays constant is that Joseph never stops trusting in the Lord in all things.   He lifts up his life to Lord.    He leads by example in all interactions which lead to him one day becoming one of the highest regarded advisors in Egypt.   Many years of struggle did not lead Joseph down a path of resentment or feeling sorry for himself.  Instead, he relied and surrendered to the Lord.     The gifts he received were beyond his wildest dreams.    He shows us forgiveness in the pain, by forgiving his own brothers that handed him over into slavery.     We see through his experiences forgiveness, perseverance, and trust in God in all things.   He asks God to guide his days, and God blesses him beyond his wildest dreams.

In this life once Eve bit the apple, we entered into a life that would have struggle.  But the one thing that holds true is that God is there for us.  He will help us navigate through difficulty, through painful experiences.   We need to persevere and not give up.   Look to God to help you navigate, rely on Him.   He will lead you through.

God will give us strength to push through in the painful circumstances.

Forgiveness is always possible with help from God.

God will bring good out of all things and sometimes we have to endure suffering or pain in order to feel light.  God does not inflict pain or suffering on us, but sometimes, just like a parent, he takes a step back and sometimes we learn things the hard way.

We need believe that we were meant for a life of abundance, we are what we think and this is what God wants for us.

God brings light out of darkness, and knows our needs.   All we have to do is Trust.

May you be blessed my friend and thank-you for popping by! ~Ness