The Moments

As she glances out the window, she admires and takes in the view.    

Laughter, smiles, bliss, taking it all in – living in the moment.

This moment is what matters.

The boys in her life help her feel full.   Its like eating a fresh baked pie.  Each bite tastes so wonderful so blissful, with each bite she feels full and content.

This moment is what matters.

Time flies.  They tell you time flies when you are younger and you ask yourself – “What do they know?”.  The words touch her heart now, she realizes that the years pass in a matter of minutes.   They were right .   She realizes that this is something learned through experiences as she looks back.

This moment matters.    

She takes in the smells of their rooms when they are sleeping at night.  The smells remind her of the times when she rocked them to sleep, reminds her of the blissful feeling of love in those moments.   As she glances at their faces she is full of so much love in this wonderful life.    A sense of peace overcomes her as she gives gratitude to the moment and the beautiful view.

This moment matters.

The babies grow into young men, and she begins to see that they are becoming so much more than she could ever imagine.   Viewing the world through their eyes, helping them navigate through the rough and smooth – she feels so blessed for them to call her mom.

This moment matters.

More than she could ever imagine – the great gifts in this life are the ones you love and living in every moment.   

This moment matters.

Walking hand in hand in this life with her best friend. Her best friend was an angel sent from above.   Then the blessings she has been given are beyond her wildest dreams.   She gives thanks.   The gift of life –  her two sons – the greatest gifts of all.  Love so deep.        

This moment matters.

The joy experienced in this life always overcomes the sadness.  There are storms in this life but it is through strength and love that shelters us from the rain.   The sun always shines, and she has seen it happen so many times the rainbows that come after the storm.   

This moment matters.

She looks out the window and gives thanks and gratitude to  it all.  She knows He is the source of all of the good.         

This moment matters.

A Letter of Love to My Boys

Perspective is everything.    All we have is NOW.   It is the response we choose to this life that makes all of the difference.    I have been very blessed to be given two little beautiful gifts in this life, along with a best friend and husband.    We don’t know when it is time to meet our Maker, and I have been thinking lately, if I left tomorrow, what would I want to say to my boys.   I am not the perfect parent by any means, but over the course of this life thus far, these are a few of the lessons I would leave.

A letter to my Beautiful Boys

I don’t know how long I will be here, but I want you to both know how much I love you.   Being your mother has been the greatest gifts in my life (aside from having a wonderful husband and my best friend your dad).

I often wish I could tell you everything I have in my head, and transfer everything I have seen to protect you from hurt or sadness.  But this is one of the greatest things in our lives, is learning and living.  We will stumble yes, but it is how we choose to respond to the moments that make all of the difference.  Learning to love myself from the inside out was one of my most difficult journeys.  Love for self is one of the most important pieces in this life.   You have to realize your strengths and your unique giftings in this world – and realize there is only one of you. Do not envy what others have.  Be comfortable right where you are. You are perfectly made from the inside out and it is your journey to figure this out. You were beautifully made, from the beginning of time by God.    I am far from perfect, and what I have learnt the most in this life, is love yourself and show others the same love you give yourself.

Here are some thoughts that I wanted to bring together so that you can think of these things when you go up and down the hills in this life.  

• Love yourself, realize you are beautifully made. And yes we will hear things from others  – they may not like who we are or what we are made to be.   This world is full of differences.   Make sure that what you allow to go through your ears is the truth, do not create a fiction based story. The truth always comes from a place of love – not jealousy or envy.    You can control what voices you allow in and what ones you push out.  Remember this.   You have control of your thoughts.
• If a friend does something for you, or even sends you a nice note or text, thank them for it. Genuine gratefulness has the ability to create ripple effects.   It is like dropping a rock in the water and then all of the ripples go outward.   Remember a kind word, or thank-you makes all the difference.  Also think of something you can do for someone else – expecting nothing in return.    This is the pay it forward concept – whatever good you put out there will come back to you J    It may not be the same way – but by doing good – good will always come back to us.
• If you see someone in need, or have something you could do without – extend the hand and help. There will be times in your life where you will require help and it is through our actions that these things come full circle (a bit repeating the previous but this is looking to help where you can). It is important to maintain balance with this, because you must care for your own health first.     Expect nothing in return.   If you live your life this way, great things will circle back.
• Get rid of clutter in your head, house, and life. Clutter can be defined by items, clouding thoughts, or people that zap the life out of you.   Clean up, it will help you in all that you do.
• Remember good friends like you unconditionally. These friends will not hurt you; they will not try to make you to do things you feel uncomfortable with.   They will not be spiteful, jealous or envious. Good friends will make you laugh so hard your belly hurts, you feel comfortable and not judged in any way.  A special friend is someone that really “gets you”.  They understand the person you are. Remember this.  Surround yourself with people that like you just the way you are.
• Exercise, stretch, and keep your body healthy. Take care of your body and don’t overwork it too.    Make sure you rest when you need it.  This is the only body you have.
• Eat foods that are good for your body and are not overly processed. What you put into your body is what you will get out. Rinse, floss, and brush your teeth gently and regularly. Take care of the body you have been given J
• Enjoy life, don’t take for granted any of the moments. We are only here for a short time, so focus on the beauty not the darkness.
• Every day, pause, reflect and look back on the good things. Be thankful for the little things.  Also, look at your life and focus on what is working.  If gratitude is the focus of your heart you will always be happy.
• It is ok to say NO. Boundaries are healthy. Sometimes when we say No we feel guilty, but if the No is coming from a place where you are taking care of your own health and welfare, it is perfectly healthy.   Let go of the guilt and realize you are taking care of yourself.
• What you see in others sometimes is what you may see in yourself. Make sure you evaluate and look inside and get rid of the bad.   Remove any envy, anger and resentment if it exists – as these items will bring us down in all we do.  Fill your heart with love, kindness, and beauty.
• Do not let jobs, possessions or wealth be your focus in this life. These things will only bring temporary satisfaction.  It is love, and love for life that will bring long term happiness.
• Priorities, establish them in your life so you can make healthy decisions. In my life, my priorities are taking care of my own health (this means spending alone time, exercise, and taking time to pray and be with God), then dad and I ensuring our relationship is strong, then spending time with you and dad, and then family and then friends.  If my own bucket is nurtured, everything else will fall into place.
• Forgive and let go. Do not let anger, or resentment feed your life.  It is important to forgive others and let God hand the rest.   He wants you to rest, so He is there to help.    You can forgive, but that does not mean allow people to walk all over you.  There is a difference.  
• Find someone to love that loves you for who you are. Choose someone that makes you feel full.   Someone that when you see them you get excited.   Someone that treats you with respect, love and kindness.     Find someone that would be your friend for life that you can learn and love with.
• Pray, if you are struggling through the day or need to let go of something. Ask God to help you navigate through this life.  He has been so gracious to me.   He is a miracle worker.   All He asks is that we trust Him completely.      Lean not on your own understanding, reach for prayer and ask Him to intervene.
• Lastly, always be truthful, honest, kind to others. Be yourself, you both have an amazing gift for love for people.  This is an awesome gift.  Life to love life and people.  Embrace the good.

I am so thankful for the gift of you two bundles in my life.  I cannot imagine life without you.   God has blessed me with abundance.  In the moments where my breath was taken away, I focused on love, prayer and gratitude and it carried me through.  Thank-you two boys for teaching me to be patient, thank-you for loving me the way you do.    Thank-you for cuddles, for grandma kisses, butterfly kisses, eskimo kisses, mommy kisses and Marcus and Drew kisses.    You have been and always will be the best thing that has happened to both your dad and I.  We love you, we are so very proud of you, and we believe in you.   And know, if something ever happens to us, we will be with you.    

Love You so much you fly high in the sky, and love you more than you say.

Mama

The Power of Pride

It’s that time of year again.    The hustle and bustle begins, schedules start up again.     Over the years, and after experiencing some major life changing events, I remind myself that NOW is all we really have.  I also cannot shake the feeling that I need to be still.    

As the boys get ready for school, anxiousness bubbles all around.  As the school year begins, the first thing that comes to their little minds, is that they hope to be with their favourite friends in their classes.     Once the boys see their class lists, they are beaming, out of the corner of my eye I notice another boy in tears.   My heart breaks.    His mother tries to console him and tries to maintain composure.   I head to my car and pray for him, I pray that his day gets easier.    This may seem like a small problem, but in their little world it is everything.  Someone loses.   It is like a lens is shining on my past.      The new girls sits and looks around, she knows it’s up to her to find friends.    Acceptance is all that she wants.

Days start to fly by, and schedules begin. Classes, try-outs, prep camps are all in motion.    My boys are busy again, and I feel frazzled, as the family time starts to diminish.     How can I control all of this?  One activity – but seems to be taking up so much time.   Is it that I am overwhelmed and is it only me?   My boys seem to be full of excitement.   Why is it I feel so unsettled?  

It is such a fine balance, we want to support our children, but who is driving the schedule?   Is it me?  

The drive to be the best, to be an individual surrounds me, and overwhelms me.    It is everywhere, at school, in the workplace and has become part of our culture.    

Time is flying by, and I feel like I don’t know what is best.   The balance is hard to achieve.   I look to Him to guide me.

My goal as a parent is to develop kids that have a heart for the hurting, and realize that within they are good people, but mostly for them to be humble in their accomplishments.    Perhaps this is from going through being an underdog in my childhood – being the new girl and at times feeling like I needed to build a wall up so that I could protect myself against the disappointment.      Disappointment is all part of life; this is something I cannot protect my children from.   

The truth is, we live in a hurting world, and disappointment helps us grow.  Disappointment helps us develop if we are open to it.    I know this; there have been many times where disappointment has turned into something wonderful.   So why is it as parent I want so badly to protect and shelter my children from the reality? It is because I love so deeply.    I love my children, and the people that surround me.

Try-outs begin for sports, and I am reminded again of disappointments and accomplishments.  I see perfection in my children, as I watch them play.   They are so beautifully made.  So many parents looking the same, and at the same time many feeling worried for what is to become.  Why?  We want to shelter them from the disappointment.     But is it a reflection of their ability or ours?   Do you see where I am going with this?  Is it our pride that is driving this?  

Pride. 

 “That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”  James 4:6b

What I have discovered through this process is that our kids are oblivious to the hierarchy.  They are also acutely aware of what we say and do.  They would not concern themselves with the hierarchy if we were not concerned.    The quest to be the best isn’t achievable.  It may be temporarily, but there are always winners and losers.   

The question I ask myself is what is the balance?   How do I set my kids up for success while ensuring that they live a humble life?

I think the answer is simple – I model it. I have not been always the greatest model, but I strive to be humble, kind, and show my thoughts through my actions.    The reality of every situation is that there will be ups and downs.   It is through the downs or disappointments that we learn adversity and how to overcome it.    But this has to come from within us.  

I will build my children up while reminding them, at the end of the day, some will win, and some will lose. It is in their reaction to the losses that our true selves become evident.

I believe in my children, but also tell them we all have learning to do.   

I recognize I am not in control, all I can control is how I choose to respond.

My choice is living in the moment, encouraging, and believing the best in everyone.  Hopefully by choosing this, my children will follow.

I wish there was a manual – God knows.  But there is not.  One thing I do know for sure – God is in control; when I try to control life – it gets messy.

Dear Lord God,

Open my eyes to reality, lead me in my actions and reactions.   Help me to be the parent my children need.   Life can be  chaotic, but it is through you that we achieve clarity.   Help me to be humbled and to be aware of my actions and reactions.  Show me  YOUR way father. I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen

Be blessed,

Ness

 

An Ordinary Day

It was an ordinary day.   

• Prep the meat, throw it in the crock pot for lasagna. – check
• Make the lunches  – check
• Have the soccer and ball hockey stuff ready.  – check
• Get the hairstuff out – check
• Get my working mom clothes on – check
• Get breakfast ready – check
• Get the list out for after school – check
• Write the note to the teacher – check
• Get my laptop ready for the 8am meeting – check
• Drop the kids off at the before school program – check

The morning went well, we worked as a well oiled machine.   As I drove to work I asked myself, how did it go so well given I only had 4 good hours of sleep?  It was a full moon last night – so restless, was praying all night to fall asleep.  What did I do differently today???

I prayed, I started the day in prayer, and gave thanks as each item worked out.    I hit no red lights, made it to work with time to spare.  As I entered the office, I felt tired, but ready for the day.   The day went by and the next phase began.  Two busy boys needing supper, and out the door to two different activities 15 minutes apart.   All worked well, we all had smiles on our faces, how could this be?   

The day went on and I saw my two boys and I was so very proud of them.   They contributed, they took the lead.  

Gratitude.

Pause and reflect.

Give thanks.

Check.

This ordinary day became extraordinary.

He led, He helped, and He showed me how special my two boys are.  They need a mom that empowers and doesn’t control. 

I was so proud of them today, and I have realized that I am here for them for a short time.     I am here to help, lend a hand, give a perspective and ultimately to guide.   Not to control.  By guiding – they thrive.

He is in control.

I give thanks, I am so grateful for this day that may seem ordinary – but to me became extraordinary. 

Thank-you God. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17).

Mothers – A gift from above

Mothers – we all have them, and when we reflect on these amazing women, we smile.   Women that give their 24 hours to the ones they love.  Often thinking about everyone else before they think about themselves.    I am blessed, to have a mother and a mother in law of strength.   Yes, this world is not easy.  We all hit a wall at times in our lives where we need to hammer away and break it down.   But we can make it through, with love and strength.   

Major events have happened over these past three years, I cannot even make this stuff up.  But the key is finding grace in the moments that take our breath away.  Mom you have shown me this.     I also want to say the same about my amazing mother in law.  We all have had to put one step in front of the other, but we keep moving forward.

Day after day God shows me His gentle hand. He is always there, and always promises triumph. Although it may not be on our time, but triumph ALWAYS happens.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

We are meant for an abundant life, if we learn that we are not in control – that He is there to lead, lift, carry and hold. I thank Him every day for the perspective in the pain, and the love that always shows through.

Today lets all reflect on how amazing our mothers are. For those of you that have children, we tend to be hard on ourselves on our ability to “mother”. We are our worst critics… Remember to always give yourself a basket of grace. REST. 

I adore my mother, she is a testament of strength and has a heart full of gold. She has always put others before herself (sound familiar)?? In dedication to this amazing woman, I thought I would write a poem to capture my thoughts.

A Letter to My Mom

As a babe, I look up at my mom and see her blue eyes.

They are beautiful and bright.

The love radiates and flows.

A love that cannot be explained, unconditional.

A bond that is everlasting and shared by two.

Over the years, the eyes change – brought by love, hope, heart ache and pain.

The lines and creases begin to show.

The lines define the moments in time where there was much happiness and sometimes tears.

She is strength, she is life, she is warm, she is a fighter and she defines love.

She has helped me most to grow.

She has helped me through my life and my “lows”.

She feels my pain when I hurt, and over time as I grow, I feel her hurts too.

We are one; the bond can never be undone.

She healed my wounds when they were deep, she has whispered sweet words as a child to me when I sleep.

We share a bond, that is so strong.

All through the years, I know this much is true, I have become the woman I am today because of you.

You are my mother – a women of strength, determination, living with your heart and soul.

I adore you.

 

Take some time to celebrate the mothers, grandmothers, step mothers that have helped us through our lives. A remember to celebrate you too when you’re doing it!

Dear Vanessa ~ Birth of a babe

Dear Vanessa,

I am expecting a new baby very shortly and do not know what to expect.   Ever since I have been pregnant I have been worrying about this little bean inside of me.   I pray that my baby is healthy, and think often about the kind of parent I want to be.   I have purchased a lot of resources that have been helping me with some of the questions that have come up through the pregnancy… There is so much unknown.   Any suggestions?

~New mommy to be

 

Dearest New Mommy to Be,

What an exciting time!   New life, new beginnings, and yes the unknown.   This is a miracle all on its own.

An absolute miracle…..

Leading up to the big day, it is almost like time slows down, and for most new mommy’s to be –  they pray for their little bundle of joy to be born healthy.

Most of this life is beyond our control and this event is included.   So how do we calm our nerves during this process?

• Be good to yourself, don’t overthink things – you could send your mind into a tailspin.
• Rest, read, and enjoy the time and pamper yourself, before long you will have another gift wanting your time.
• I look back on this time for myself, and I read so many materials “what to expect when you are expecting”, “what to expect in the first year” – remember each individual is different and these books, while they have some useful information also can cause the mind to head into overdrive.
• It’s ok to say “no” to things, remember you are carrying a little one you can’t do it all.

When moment arrives to give birth to your child, all of the pain and worry will disappear.   In that moment, your breath will be taken away and you will feel this overwhelming feeling of perfect love.

Perfect…..

Love…..

Every mother and father feel it, when they see their little one for the first time.   A miracle given to us from above.

The first few weeks are a blur, as the new mother tries to get a handle on this new life.    Give yourself some grace and apply the points above.   You cannot do it all – it is ok not to be 100% in all areas of your life. Remember there will be times where you feel stretched and that is ok too.   Also, things will happen, but you will get through.   Ask for His Grace to help you along and you will feel complete Joy along the way.

Larry Crabb wrote in his book 66 Love Letters that in addition to relying on themselves rather than God, the thing that kept His children out of the Promised Land was not believing God. In God’s voice, Crabb writes:

And they wouldn’t believe that I could overcome every problem, the ones inside them, as well as the difficulties in their circumstances that stood in the way of real joy. So they refused to walk the narrow road of belief that welcomes exposure of failure and conflict, knowing I have a plan to overcome them.

God can overcome anything, He gives us these amazing gifts in our lives to see His face, and the love that He has for us.  Yes there will be times when we sit at the end of the day, and feel like we have fallen flat on our face.  But He picks us up.   His grace has promised us love, and eternal life through bringing Jesus to us in this world.

I wonder, how Mary felt as she trucked along on the donkey to a stable.  I am sure her mind was full of worry, and wonder.  But she knew God was in control of the moment and had faith.   She gave birth to the perfect miracle we have been given in this life.

Remember, mommy to be, you are not alone.   We have a Father that carries us, and is there for us in all things.

Give yourself some grace beautiful lady and rest your mind.

Dear Lord God,

Thank-you so much for the gifts you give us in this life.  Help us to sort through the mixture of feelings we have in this life, and help us lift them up to you so that we can experience full joy.  Help us to see the moments of miracles you give us.  Help us to look to you.  We thank-you so much for loving us and giving us your Son.    During this season Lord God, help bring peace and fulfillment into our lives.  Help us to refocus.   In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

May you be blessed beautiful lady.

Vanessa

 

If you have a question for Vanessa please email her at nesschesters@gmail.com

 

 

dear Vanessa ~ Who am I?

Finding your Authenticity is sometimes difficult in this crazy busy world; but take some time to pop by and read. ❤

Dear Vanessa ~ friend or parent

Being a parent can be hard and sometimes we have to hold the line. Our children may not like what we say to them, but this is all part of raising them up…. To be productive, contributing, caring people in society. Please take the time to read one of my posts on the beautiful life ministry teams site. Would love to hear from you as well!