Tag Archive | being a mother

Mothers ~ A Gift Given from Up Above

imageMothers – we all have them, and when we reflect on these amazing women, we smile.   Women that give their 24 hours a day to the ones they love.  These amazing women often think about everyone else before they thinking about themselves.   

I am blessed, to have a mother of strength, and one that has always been there for me for anything I ever needed.  She has always been there through the dark times, and the light times.   I cannot imagine my life without her and am so very proud to call her my mother.  

We have been through the good, the bad and the ugly.   Every step of the way, each one of us has been strength for the other.    There are so many moments I will not forget, and moments that I felt like my mom put up with so much from me.   Every time she would turn the cheek and shower me with love and forgiveness.    My mom has showered me with unconditional love my entire life, and if I can be half of the mother she is – I would do a fantastic job.  

Together we have learnt reliance on something greater than ourselves to get through the hard times, and in the good times we are so grateful for each other.   Day after day God shows me His gentle hand. He is always there, and always promises triumph. God is in control and has shown us so many miracles, and much love.  

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

We are meant for an abundant life, if we learn that we are not in control – that He is there to lead, lift, carry and hold. I thank Him every day for the perspective in the pain, and the love that always shows through.  I thank God for blessing me with a mother that loves me unconditionally and is always there for me.

Today lets all reflect on how amazing our mothers are. For those of you that have children, we tend to be hard on ourselves on our ability to “mother”. We are our worst critics… Remember to always give yourself a basket of grace. REST.

I adore my mother, she is a testament of strength and has a heart full of gold. She has always put others before herself (sound familiar)?? In dedication to this amazing woman, I thought I would write a poem to capture my thoughts.

A Letter to My Mom by Vanessa Chesters

As a babe, I look up at my mom and see her blue eyes.

They are beautiful and bright.

The love radiates and flows.

A love that cannot be explained, unconditional.

A bond that is everlasting and shared by two.

Over the years, the eyes change – brought by love, hope, heart ache and pain.

The lines and creases begin to show.

The lines define the moments in time where there was much happiness and sometimes tears.

She is strength, she is life, she is warm, she is a fighter and she defines love.

She has helped me most to grow.

She has helped me through my life and my “lows”.

She feels my pain when I hurt, and over time as I grow, I feel her hurts too.

We are one; the bond can never be undone.

She healed my wounds when they were deep, she has whispered sweet words as a child to me when I sleep.

We share a bond, that is so strong.

All through the years, I know this much is true, I have become the woman I am today because of you.

You are my mother – a women of strength, determination, living with your heart and soul.

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As Season’s Change, We Change

Picture for Relationships

Change…

I am thankful for the changes that take my breath away, where I feel so happy I can burst at the seams or the times where the hurt is so bad that I cry out for help.   These have been the moments that have contributed to a greater focus in my life, and by the grace of God, He has provided me a looking glass of what He has planned for me.  

My focus has changed, and I have realized that I need to take care of my health first and foremost so that I can extend myself for others. In nurturing myself, I want to start and end my day with Him and maintain the close connection.   I can only do this if my life is not overextended.

I have also realized that my relationship with my husband is one of the greatest gifts. He was made just for me, and I should never take that for granted.   I should nurture this relationship as much as I can.  

Two other gifts that have been given to me are my precious sons, I am so thankful for the lessons as a parent. I choose to be plugged into their lives, and this means choosing the “right” balance for us as a family (with Gods guiding hand).    

My broader family, the ones that are close, are meant to be held close.   We are joined to support and love one another.  

And then my extended family, my friends that will be there through the sunshine and the rain.    

My priorities seem simple, but I live a messy life like most.   This messy life has its challenges and many times I feel torn between all of the priorities.     I have also found that as I have changed my priorities, some relationships have changed.   Makes sense doesn’t it?   If we change as people, we will bring into our life the people that are willing to change or adapt with us.

It has been hard at times, because I have had to let go of some relationships.   Relationships should not be forced, they should be welcomed and wanted.   Has there been a time in your life where you have felt like you had to force something?   How did you feel? For me, when I have to force something I don’t feel like myself.   Don’t get me wrong, all relationships require work in some way, but when you feel like the work is all on one side and doesn’t start from a place of love – it may be time to let go.

Change isn’t easy, but if you feel good about the changes, then keep riding the waves.   I truly believe the changes in our life are created for good.

Have you experienced some relationship challenges or changes in your life that revealed good? Consider leaving a comment and sharing your experience.

 

 

 

Mothers – A gift from above

1509691_10152020618916010_3505828274001737371_nUntitled

Mothers – we all have them, and when we reflect on these amazing women, we smile.   Women that give their 24 hours to the ones they love.  Often thinking about everyone else before they think about themselves.    I am blessed, to have a mother and a mother in law of strength.   Yes, this world is not easy.  We all hit a wall at times in our lives where we need to hammer away and break it down.   But we can make it through, with love and strength.   1524820_10151937501936010_2125577911_n

Major events have happened over these past three years, I cannot even make this stuff up.  But the key is finding grace in the moments that take our breath away.  Mom you have shown me this.     I also want to say the same about my amazing mother in law.  We all have had to put one step in front of the other, but we keep moving forward.

Day after day God shows me His gentle hand. He is always there, and always promises triumph. Although it may not be on our time, but triumph ALWAYS happens.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

We are meant for an abundant life, if we learn that we are not in control – that He is there to lead, lift, carry and hold. I thank Him every day for the perspective in the pain, and the love that always shows through.

Today lets all reflect on how amazing our mothers are. For those of you that have children, we tend to be hard on ourselves on our ability to “mother”. We are our worst critics… Remember to always give yourself a basket of grace. REST. 

I adore my mother, she is a testament of strength and has a heart full of gold. She has always put others before herself (sound familiar)?? In dedication to this amazing woman, I thought I would write a poem to capture my thoughts.

A Letter to My Mom

As a babe, I look up at my mom and see her blue eyes.

They are beautiful and bright.

The love radiates and flows.

A love that cannot be explained, unconditional.

A bond that is everlasting and shared by two.

Over the years, the eyes change – brought by love, hope, heart ache and pain.

The lines and creases begin to show.

The lines define the moments in time where there was much happiness and sometimes tears.

She is strength, she is life, she is warm, she is a fighter and she defines love.

She has helped me most to grow.

She has helped me through my life and my “lows”.

She feels my pain when I hurt, and over time as I grow, I feel her hurts too.

We are one; the bond can never be undone.

She healed my wounds when they were deep, she has whispered sweet words as a child to me when I sleep.

We share a bond, that is so strong.

All through the years, I know this much is true, I have become the woman I am today because of you.

You are my mother – a women of strength, determination, living with your heart and soul.

I adore you.Me and my beautiful mama

 

Take some time to celebrate the mothers, grandmothers, step mothers that have helped us through our lives. A remember to celebrate you too when you’re doing it!

Dear Vanessa ~ Birth of a babe

st1144Dear Vanessa,

I am expecting a new baby very shortly and do not know what to expect.   Ever since I have been pregnant I have been worrying about this little bean inside of me.   I pray that my baby is healthy, and think often about the kind of parent I want to be.   I have purchased a lot of resources that have been helping me with some of the questions that have come up through the pregnancy… There is so much unknown.   Any suggestions?

~New mommy to be

 

Dearest New Mommy to Be,

What an exciting time!   New life, new beginnings, and yes the unknown.   This is a miracle all on its own.

An absolute miracle…..

Leading up to the big day, it is almost like time slows down, and for most new mommy’s to be –  they pray for their little bundle of joy to be born healthy.

Most of this life is beyond our control and this event is included.   So how do we calm our nerves during this process?

  • Be good to yourself, don’t overthink things – you could send your mind into a tailspin.
  • Rest, read, and enjoy the time and pamper yourself, before long you will have another gift wanting your time.
  • I look back on this time for myself, and I read so many materials “what to expect when you are expecting”, “what to expect in the first year” – remember each individual is different and these books, while they have some useful information also can cause the mind to head into overdrive.
  • It’s ok to say “no” to things, remember you are carrying a little one you can’t do it all.

When moment arrives to give birth to your child, all of the pain and worry will disappear.   In that moment, your breath will be taken away and you will feel this overwhelming feeling of perfect love.

Perfect…..

Love…..

Every mother and father feel it, when they see their little one for the first time.   A miracle given to us from above.

The first few weeks are a blur, as the new mother tries to get a handle on this new life.    Give yourself some grace and apply the points above.   You cannot do it all – it is ok not to be 100% in all areas of your life. Remember there will be times where you feel stretched and that is ok too.   Also, things will happen, but you will get through.   Ask for His Grace to help you along and you will feel complete Joy along the way.

Larry Crabb wrote in his book 66 Love Letters that in addition to relying on themselves rather than God, the thing that kept His children out of the Promised Land was not believing God. In God’s voice, Crabb writes:

And they wouldn’t believe that I could overcome every problem, the ones inside them, as well as the difficulties in their circumstances that stood in the way of real joy. So they refused to walk the narrow road of belief that welcomes exposure of failure and conflict, knowing I have a plan to overcome them.

God can overcome anything, He gives us these amazing gifts in our lives to see His face, and the love that He has for us.  Yes there will be times when we sit at the end of the day, and feel like we have fallen flat on our face.  But He picks us up.   His grace has promised us love, and eternal life through bringing Jesus to us in this world.

I wonder, how Mary felt as she trucked along on the donkey to a stable.  I am sure her mind was full of worry, and wonder.  But she knew God was in control of the moment and had faith.   She gave birth to the perfect miracle we have been given in this life.

Remember, mommy to be, you are not alone.   We have a Father that carries us, and is there for us in all things.

Give yourself some grace beautiful lady and rest your mind.

Dear Lord God,

Thank-you so much for the gifts you give us in this life.  Help us to sort through the mixture of feelings we have in this life, and help us lift them up to you so that we can experience full joy.  Help us to see the moments of miracles you give us.  Help us to look to you.  We thank-you so much for loving us and giving us your Son.    During this season Lord God, help bring peace and fulfillment into our lives.  Help us to refocus.   In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

May you be blessed beautiful lady.

Vanessa

 

If you have a question for Vanessa please email her at nesschesters@gmail.com

 

 

Dear Vanessa ~ Keep calm the Storm will pass

imagesDear Vanessa,

This week I lost it. I came unglued with my children and husband. It was almost like I could feel each stitch of me unravel, feeling unclear, cloudy – lack of judgement. Looking back on my reaction, I am disappointed in myself. Sometimes I just wish I could “keep calm and carry on” all the time. Do you have any suggestions in dealing with these moments? I feel like such a bad mom.

Tanya

Dearest Amazing Mom Tanya,

First of all, you are not a bad mom. These moments happen to all of us where it feels like the stitches are coming apart, stitch by stitch until we are burst apart. But don’t you think that good comes out of the bad? Sometimes when we see ourselves in this way we learn how to adjust or make better for next time. But the first step is getting to the root of what caused the stitches to come apart.

Let me use an example of chaos in my life to illustrate how each stitch can come undone. It was a week just as the snow began to fall, the changes in temperature were creating havoc in driving from A to B and many children had colds. All of a sudden my little guy got sick, and amidst this I was overscheduled (coaching sports, organizing our calendars, meeting friends/families, running the race). Then my son went to the doctor, got medication but had an adverse reaction, the reaction caused huge sores in his mouth and around his mouth. He couldn’t eat and was crying often throughout the day, on a new medication fever seemed to leave but my state of mind was dwindling….

Chaos, running too fast, time to slow down – red lights flashing in my mind.

This is a signal that something needs to change – do you think that this is God’s way of saying – “Ok kiddo – how many times do I have to tell you – you cannot do it all. You need to slow down and you need me to get through this!”

I swear that is exactly what He was saying. But it gets better…. The week goes on and things get worse, we eat at McDonald’s twice (feeling like the health mom of the year award is heading my way), my eyes are bloodshot, finally my little guy is feeling better – maybe I can get a rest tonight (I am thinking). Then that morning my little guy wanted eggs, they hurt his mouth, then he wanted a smoothly, it hurt, then he wanted a banana, it hurt (and he cried so loud). This little guy ate soup all week that is it and maybe a few bites of a cheeseburger. I could feel the tension rising then out came the unglued moment….

I sat there looking at myself and thought really this is what it has come to now?

Then we head off to school and the car doesn’t start , I boost it, get back in the car and adjust my rear-view mirror and it falls off!

Seriously! I sat there in the garage for a moment and looked at the wall in disbelief. Then I thought well its “up” from here.  I then chuckled to myself and the tension disappeared.

But now I know…. I created my reality.

I am learning, I will stumble yes, I may get off track, but there is always a way back.

And the awesome thing is, God loves us and helps usher us back to the place where we are meant to be.

Tanya, don’t you see, you are not alone? We all have these moments. As women – we love, we feel deeply, and we want to help everyone. Often we will do everything for everyone before we help ourselves. We carry the burdens that are not meant for us to carry.

What to do?
• Remember, it is ok to find time in the busy for You. Even ½ – 1 hour a day of something just for you. It could mean going for a coffee by yourself, going for a walk outside, or reading or taking a class. Find the time because it will help you feel full and bring peace into your days.

• One of the things that I need to make a habit every day is starting and ending the day with God. Taking my bible and reading a passage and talking to God to help sort through what I am dealing with.  Also, keeping track of one item from every day that worked well!

• It is ok to say “No”, you don’t have to make it to soccer/dance/swimming (or whatever your children are involved in) practice on those days where you feel like you are running on empty.

•Focus on the elements of your life that are working to redirect your thought process.

•Most importantly, the issues that arise in our lives – lift them up to Him and He will help you navigate through them.

•Create these measures in your life so that you can limit those unglued moments.

Remember, the devil is always lurking and I believe he is just waiting for us to slip… He wants us to be sad, mad, and not enjoying our present state of life.

“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Ephesians 4:26-27 (NASB)

It is so important to us to focus on the positive in this life, even if on some days it seems like the positive is only a small percentage of the day!

So focus on what is working beautiful lady! May you be blessed.

Dear Lord God,

Please bless Tanya and all of the women in this world who think they need to be 100% in all areas of their lives. Help us to navigate and make clear around the elements of this life that should be the focus. Divert our thoughts, and bring calm into our lives. Protect our minds from the devils evil whispers. I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

Blessings to you beautiful lady,

Vanessa

Dear Vanessa ~ friend or parent

Being a parent can be hard and sometimes we have to hold the line. Our children may not like what we say to them, but this is all part of raising them up…. To be productive, contributing, caring people in society. Please take the time to read one of my posts on the beautiful life ministry teams site. Would love to hear from you as well!