Today I am featuring my first guest blog post. Gina and I became friends through our injuries. I broke my neck in Jan 2011, and her injury followed Jan 2012. I am blessed to have met this courageous, inspring woman, and look forward to having her featured once a month on my blog. Check out her blog for other inspirational stories at http://ginaquarles.com/
What Does Being “Mom” Really Mean?
Posted on August 2, 2013 by Gina Quarles
This one goes out to everyone that reads this post. Whether you are a mother, have or had a mother, at one time you were once a child. After all, we were all birthed by our mother and whether it is your biological mother or whomever plays that role out for you, it is a tough job. Each and every one of us holds within ourselves our memories of childhood. Some of us have good ones, some pretty good and some not so good.
The one thing I want to you to think about in this post, is the fact that we all come from various backgrounds and or customs. We are all connected with our ancestors of our past. This thought often seems to be forgotten by many, as we tend to not really think of this thought.
If you are a mother, you will relate to what I am about to say. When you find out you will soon become a mother, all of the excitement begins. Oh, the time before you had children we made plans of the mother we knew we would be. The ideals were set, the books were read, all the classes we took to prepare for that special day we would give birth, nursery plans, baby showers possible baby names, wondering if we were having a boy or a girl, the list could go on and on.
After mothers endure the physical pain of bringing another human being into this world and when that little precious soul is placed into our arms, our lives are forever changed. This the is one memory no Mother will ever forget. The joy and bliss on that moment we want to never end.
After we go home to our well planned out nest, soon the endless nights of sleep deprivation kicks in. The feedings begin. The continual checking on them to make sure they are still breathing, diaper changes and making sure they are on correctly, are all part of the BIG process. The years pass and once we feel we get a routine down, we have them figured out, something goes and changes on us! What do we do? We just figure it out. Soon, motherhood can become not as easy as we had imagined.
Of course we do not want to admit this as we were prepared remember? We read the books, we set up our ideals of how it was going to be, so we cannot digest that we are truly TIRED. Motherhood is definitely one of the hardest jobs out there.
All of us were raised in different environments. Whether we realize it or not, we carry much of our upbringing into our parenting along with various skill sets. We either follow what we learned or create new styles of parenting. The hardest issue I find, is that every single child is unique and has their own personality. What works for one child, may not work for another. We then have to learn and are suddenly faced with parenting each child in a different way. (Hopefully)
I am a big believer in embracing each child’s differences including nurturing them in a way that they feel and receive love individually. Learning the differences in each of them and mastering them, is a whole other art in itself! I am still working on it. With children from ages four to fifteen, I admit, it is no easy task. But, eventually you will find what works for each child and the family as a whole.
If you have a mother that you do not see eye to eye with, cut them some slack. They were raised with what was passed down to them as well and their job was just as demanding as ours is today. They too, had to figure out their own parenting style. It took me a very long time to understand this thought. Each generation changes and so does the society we live in.
We face many changes in our world that were non existant while we were children. As mother’s, we learn as we go. There is no “one” book that will guide you. The books may provide some insight, but the key, I feel, is to remain flexible and remain open to trying new methods. If something is not working, you have permission to change it now. You are the mother now! You call the shots:). Do not get stuck into one school of thought or I promise you, it will frustrate the “crazy mama” to come out, if she has not already.
Each of us does the best that we can. It is in our nature as a mother to protect, provide, nurture and raise productive adults that we will one day have to unleash into this big world of ours. Let’s do our best and that includes taking care of yourself too. Naps are allowed:)! Asking for help is allowed. Support and friendships of people in the same season as you are, please encourage and welcome them in. You will need it and be glad to have it.
I salute all the mother’s out there on whether you have birthed them or not, whether you are Dad filling mom’s shoes and the ones yet to come. Being a mother is one life long and selfless love you will ever experience. At the same time, it is one of the best things you will ever do. Love your little gems, hug often, play and have fun as well. If you pay close attention, they too, can teach us much about ourselves.
I commend all of you and to those whom have come, gone and remain to this day. You deserve it and are blessed for it. Children are truly the best presents from above!