Women supporting Women

Women supporting Women

They give you grace. They fill your cup. They support you when you’re feeling low. Women supporting women.Friends.

When I was a little girl I didn’t quite know what the definition of a friend was. Always being the new girl was a challenge in making lasting relationships. But I observed others that have been in relationships for a long time, in how they looked at each other and how free-flowing the conversation would be. I guess you could say I was envious, deeply wanting that best friend that would fill my cup. I have been lucky enough in later life to have these beautiful friends. Sometimes our gifts in life come later. I’ve come to realize that these relationships are so precious much like a gem, beautiful and unique. Women supporting women. Friendship.

They fill your Cup, they fill your soul, they do not judge, and they grab ahold. Unconditional. Women supporting women. Everlasting friends.

Women’s souls are so unique, a tapestry of colours and brilliance. Each having their own experiences and learnings that can help the soul of another. Women supporting women. Lending a hand.

We all have experiences that rock us to the core. These experiences shape us and help us grow. But it doesn’t stop there – We are not intended to bear the burden’s all on our own. Women supporting women. Helping each other through.

They fill our cup, They fill our soul, they lift us up and they support us so we’re not alone. Women supporting women, through and through. Together we are strong, together we are one .

Being Hands-Free

I receive a text message, immediately looking at my phone,I choose to respond.   Emails trail in, approximately 100 a day when looking at both work and home.   The phone rings, appointments, schedules and my time is all used up.     I feel frazzled fall is here again.  The calendar shows sports, events, schedules, the balancing act begins with work and life.    My inner self is suffocated – I need some time for me.    We can all relate to this circumstance at various times in our lives, how can we balance it all?   How can we open up some space in our day?

Have you thought about being hands-free to provide some space and time?

Hands-free (Wikipedia) an adjective describing equipment that can be used without the use of hands (for example via voice commands) or, in a wider sense, equipment which needs only limited use of hands, or for which the controls are positioned so that the hands are able to occupy themselves with another task (such as driving) without needing to hunt far afield for the controls.

Can we broaden this definition of being hands-free? An adjective describing letting go and allowing God to be in the driver’s seat.

A lot of items that fill my day really are beyond my control, it is how I choose to respond that makes all the difference.  As I look ahead in the day or week, I see so much to deal with, but perhaps I need to focus on the right now.

Do you know that we are called daily to be hand’s free and let God lead?     Have you ever noticed when you try to control your schedule, the kid’s reactions, and every facet of your life that things feel out of control?

Freedom comes from knowing that God has your back, and that He is in the driver’s seat.   He also has your best interests at heart.  He tells us to come to Him if we need rest or be anxious in nothing at all.  If you are running on empty, He knows how to fill your tank.   So how do we take conscious steps while letting Him lead?    I believe this is the real question.  What are some actions we can take to support letting God lead?

1. Take time to reflect, pause and renew – take time for prayer, time for God, and time to rest.  Renew your spirit.  It is times where we feel zapped because we have overextended ourselves that cause us the most discontent.   Make this a number one priority in your day, take the time.  This one action will make all of the difference.  Present your requests to God, acknowledge that He is in the driver’s seat and you trust Him.
2. Decide you can be physically hands-free.   Take a break from texting, looking at your phone and responding.  Don’t respond out of obligation –take some time and then respond when you want to.
3. Be Present. This is a big one.    Really live in the NOW, take it all in and breathe.   
4. Do not plan ahead. This is a tough one for many, and something I am learning.  I am finding when I don’t look to far ahead, things flow a lot easier.
5. Realize you don’t need to be everything to everyone and everything. I think many of us have such high expectations of ourselves.

I am learning to be humble in my thoughts, and to simplify my life.   Recently I have felt like I am changing within.  The change is frightening and exciting all at once.   I am seeing pieces of me leave and other pieces being refined.    I believe this is a process we all experience in our lives.  For some the process is quick, for others the process is a long one.  God makes all things good.

I see His good work in showing me how life can be so much better, if I trust Him, Lean on Him, Love others as I would love myself, and Let go of fear, and anger.    I also am realizing I am beautifully made, which is a bit of a hard pill to swallow for a woman that constantly sees where she can change.     Thank-you Father for being so patient with me again and again.  Thank-you for showing me what needs to adjust in my life.

Dear Lord God, there are so many moments of complete bliss, that I feel full of your glory.  I know that this is what you want for me.   The sunshine in my children’s eyes, the sound of laughter, and the glow of smiles, the love of friendship and family.    These are the moments that I cherish and hold close and never want to let go.     Many times I feel like I am falling short.   I feel the pressures of this life, to be the best, to climb the corporate ladder, to participate in the race and get caught up in it all.    I want to feel complete peace, even in the face of trials or adversity. I need you to lead me, without you I feel so lost.      Lord, define my path for me, guide me, help me to make the choices that are best for me and those I love.      I want to be full of your peace within.    Help me to be hands-free.  You are in control.  I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

Be blessed my friend, how can you become a little more hands-free?

Hugs

Ness

To BE or Not to Be

As each year passes, I feel like the hands of time are slipping by.   I look in the mirror and looking back at me, I see a woman that has changed, and still requires refinement.     I hear a voice that tells me I could do better.    The voice has been with me for most of my life, I am learning to snuff it out.     John 10:10 comes to mind so many times when the voice comes upon me.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.

I am still finding me.    As I sit still, I look at all of the blessings.   Striving to be perfect in all areas is impossible.    But through Him all things are possible.    I cannot carry it all, which is why He is there – to support me through it all.     I am working on me; discovering what drives me, who I want to surround myself with, how I choose to spend my days, and what I choose to focus on.     I have been given so many blessings, and abundance.   I need to press mute on that voice and push forward, and hear the truth, hear the voice of unconditional love.

• You love with all your heart
• You are an intelligent woman
• You give where you can
• You love your family to the moon and back
• You genuinely care for all people

Right now I don’t know where I am going; I lack a direction.  In my past it was like I kept striving for achievement and accomplishment in all areas of my life. Now I am at a standstill not knowing where I need to be.   Perhaps where I need to be – is exactly right where I am?

Maybe it’s time to recognize, I don’t need to be in the drivers seat.  Maybe, I just need to BE.

To BE here

To BE still

To BE present

To BE content

To BE fully alive

To Let Go and Trust; and just BE

The Power of Now ~ Living in the Present

There is so much Power of Living in the Present.

I have heard many people say that they want to live in the present – including me.   I have had many circumstances in this life that have taken my breath away and caused me to reflect and re-evaluate.

Time and time again, I am not demonstrating living in the now.   But as I catch myself getting caught up in the what ifs, the lists, but I am aware, and I make an adjustment.   They say that awareness is the first step.   But is it?

We can be keenly aware of what needs to change, but if we don’t work at it continually, and do not commit, we can slip back into old patterns.

I have said many times, I cannot control “what” happens (the what is up to God), but I can control the “how”. How I choose to respond makes all the difference.  

James 4:13 says, “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while, then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.”’

This is so true, we do not know what will happen tomorrow.   All we have is NOW. All we have is the present.   I choose to let God lead.  

I have also found that if I look ahead too far, that I get overwhelmed of what needs to be accomplished, or the busyness if this life.   Instead, I choose NOW. This is a bit of a leap for a Type A personality, perfectionist, planner… But He has refined me.

• What can I do right now at this moment?
• I choose to not look ahead, but let NOW happen.
• I choose to immerse myself in the right now, and take a little pieces at a time. These little pieces are big pieces because they are moments that I will never get back.
• I choose not to be overwhelmed with my “TO DO’s” and break it down into the NOW.
• I choose to listen intently when people are speaking to me right NOW.
• I choose to offer a hand or a smile right NOW because it has ripple effects.
• I choose not to fear of what is to come.
• I choose gratitude, and have been given abundance beyond my wildest dreams.
• I choose love, I choose to let go and move on in a positive direction.
• I choose to let God lead, He is the navigator of my ship.

Thank-you Lord, you have told me so many times, that tomorrow has enough worries. Thank-you for the moments that have taken my breath away, and the moments that have made me realize that all we have is NOW.   Guide me Lord, help me to choose what is important, help me to focus on the NOW.   I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

 

Thank-you for popping by, may you be blessed.

~Ness

 

Are You Lost in Translation?

Sometimes I get stuck,  I get lost in translation.   I interpret, I misinterpret and I analyze.     The original meaning is then lost, and then I create a meaning that makes sense to me.       Have you ever experienced this?   

• You interpret a look or action
• You interpret something that is said
• You assume you know the meaning behind a text that is sent to you

Don’t we all get lost in translation?   How can one really know the true intent of a moment and action, or a statement unless they seek to completely understand the context?  

To seek to understand before understanding.

I have been there so many times, analytical people or internalizers have been there. 

I assume.  I think I “know”.

I am reminded so many times that my interpretation may be skewed based on my perception, of where I have been and where I am.   

God promises us a future that is free of pain.  He tells us so many times to not lean on our understanding.   To look to Him for guidance.  

I need to slow my thoughts down, and take every moment for what it is.   And if I am confused or concerned, then I have the power to probe and ask questions of intent instead of bottling up and creating a story that is fiction.

Perhaps this moment, if we truly decide to be present, is taking in everything it is?  Perhaps it is allowing us to experience  the feelings and explore?  Perhaps really, it is to let go and respond with an intent that seeks to understand?

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

In those times where I may experience concern, confusion, perhaps I need to look to Him to lead.    

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

 One of the most amazing prayers that I feel explains this so well is the prayer of St. Francis.

 

 

May you be blessed today friend, and take time to slow down and seek to understand.

His Perfect Plan

There once was a girl who looked in the mirror and felt unloved, she put on a mask every day to hide who she really was or how she really felt.    She had parents that loved her very much but wanted to shelter them from the pain she was experiencing.   She had a heart that believed in rainbows and would pray that her dolls would come to life one day so she could have more friends.  Some evenings she would pray to a God that she was unsure if he heard her little voice in this big world.

He heard her, and had a plan.  He planned to show her how to forgive, let down the walls, let go of the pain.  He knew that her warm heart would be used for good.  

This little girl was me.   Looking back on those years I always thought I would never want to go through them again, but now I see the bigger plan coming to fruition.   The ability to see the pain without someone speaking a word…..  The ablility to care and help others see beyond the current moment.    

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

 

We live in a broken world.

There is heartache and pain.

But there is always sunshine after the rain.

Every purpose has a place.

We may not see it at first.

Don’t lose heart.

And shine your vibrant light He has given you in the dark.

Concentrate on the moments that take your breath away.

Give gratitude for the day.

There is power in prayer.

Give the pain away.

He is there.

Waiting for you.

May You be Blessed,

Nessa

another related post can be found here https://nesschesters.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall/

 

Beautiful You ~ Loving yourself from the inside out

Over the past few weeks, we have embarked on a journey of renewal.    As part of the process, we have embraced the love in this life, the everyday miracles that are revealed, letting go of the past in order to move forward and now one of the most essential steps – Loving yourself.

Loving ourselves is a novel concept, yet so many of us, cannot see past the imperfections.  

What forms this perception?  Why do outward influences shape how we see ourselves?

³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’^{[a] 31} The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b] There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)

Love God first, then Love your neighbor as yourself.

Neighbor as yourself….

This statement implies that we must love ourselves first.

Do you know how to love yourself?

After 37 years, I am finally learning how to love myself.    It seems like so much time has passed, and am finally discovering, that I have not loved myself in the way that I deserve.

God doesn’t see our imperfections, He says we are beautifully made.

Why can we not see the good in ourselves before we pick away at what we perceive to be the bad?

“You are not pretty, you are falling short as a mom or dad, it is not enough, you can do better, you don’t look right, they are talking about me, you can be a better sister, friend, mother, dad….”

The lies, the list can go on if we allow it.   Before we know it, it shapes, defines and we are no longer the person that we were meant to be.  The person God made us to be.

He wants us to see the light, and to feel light.  To feel love, warmth from the inside out.  He wants us to let the good in first.  

He wants us to hear His voice, and that we ARE enough.

See through His eyes a child that is amazingly made.  

I am inspired by people like Lizzy Velasquez who choose to embrace themselves, and choose to be happy.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c62Aqdlzvqk http://www.aboutlizzie.com

Or Jessica as a toddler who tells herself she is amazing (we could learn from her) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg .

When you look in the mirror, choose to embrace the beautiful you.  Accept yourself, love yourself.    You can define who you are.

It is when we can truly love ourselves that we shine a light on the person we were meant to be.   Amazing things will happen.   Let the good comments in and push those bad comments out.

Let your love for yourself shine through.  You have a choice, we have the power to choose who we are.

If you want to read another related post check out Mirror Mirror on the Wall

May you be blessed,

Ness

Let It Go ~ An essential step in becoming whole again

Have you ever felt like something was holding you back?   Something stuffed inside a dark place, so heavy, that the weight was too much to bear?

I believe we go in waves of this feeling, sometimes we can get past it quite quickly by enacting the act of “Letting Go” and at other times, the hurt is so deep that we hold on.   We hold on and stuff it deep allowing it to seep inside our soul.

When we hold onto the hurt, it stops us for becoming all that we can be and from experiencing inner peace.

For me, there were so many hurts in my life that I stuffed and stored them deep down inside.   My insides were broken, and the weight was so heavy that I couldn’t carry it.   I was shackled with pain.

Sometimes, we do not realize how the hurt is holding us in shackles.  

How did I let go?

• I excavated my past and started searching my soul for the life events that made an imprint.  I then grabbed a pen, and sorted through the feelings and blame.
• I wrote a message to the boy that bullied me for a good portion of my childhood, and told him I forgave him and hoped that he would never experience the same pain.
• I wrote a message to the 4 boys that sexually assaulted me as a teenager, and forgave them.  I forgave them for hurting me so deep inside.  I forgave myself for trusting.   
• I forgave the ones that loved me for not seeing the pain I felt so deep inside.
• I forgave myself for making a choice that changed our lives forever.

Letting go can be difficult, because it often involves forgiveness.  Sometimes that forgiveness is a mountain of hurt.    But forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.    The beauty in forgiveness is it is something we can control.  Reconciliation involves two parties where both admit to wrong doings and learn to let go and move on.  The key to reconciliation is that both sides own their behavior.   We have no control over reconciliation.

Sometimes we just need to let go of the relationship completely because it is not good for us.   God wants a better life for us, and there are times where He steered his people out of bad relationships into something better (when the Israelites left Egypt).

What is holding you back?  Is it time to let go of the past?

Is a there a relationship that is zapping you dry?

Did someone hurt you?

Did something happen in your life where there is a whole lot of blame?

Forgive and let it go my friend…

Let it go in order to feel whole again.

Let Him lead you to a better place………………..

May you be blessed my friend ~Ness

Micah 7:18 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.

Guest Post by Sally Meadows “This New Year”

Last January, I quit my day job – cold turkey.

There was nothing terribly wrong with where I was working. But after years of pushing myself beyond my limits, I was exhausted. Whereas the thrill of working on my music and writing ministry – on top of my day job – once gave me energy, now I struggled, hampered by health issues that reared their ugly head mid-2012 and couldn’t seem to resolve even with medical intervention.

Deep down in my heart I knew that God had something better for me.

 So I quit. I needed to rest. And I needed to find out God’s unique plan for my life.

The very day after I quit, I wrote a song. As difficult as the previous year was, I know I would never have come up with this song without going through what I had.

Writing a song is a process. It can draw on many aspects of your life. At the time, I was in the midst of a yearlong bible study on Genesis. My small group leader happened to email me around the time I quit with this phrase of scripture: “…where have you come from, and where are you going?” (Genesis 16:8). She said she thought of me when she read it. It impressed upon me so much that I have included this line in the first verse of my song.

This scripture came from the story of Hagar. In the quote above, the angel of the Lord was asking Hagar, pregnant with Abram’s child, why she was running away from her mistress, Sarai, Abram’s wife. The angel of the Lord (on behalf of God) commanded her to go back. Then He blessed her with an incredible promise of fruitfulness – uncountable descendants.

Hagar’s response was both simple and profound: “You are the God who sees me…” (Genesis 16:13) She recognized Him for who He was. It reminds us that no matter what our circumstances, God sees us. We need to remember that.

Unlike Hagar, I didn’t have a choice to go back. It wasn’t the right choice for me anyway. Yet God still has a great blessing for me. I know it in my heart – He has already given me a glimpse.

I am not advocating quitting your job, your relationships, your project, or whatever it is that is challenging you in your life today. I AM encouraging you to seek God’s voice whatever your circumstances. So whether God is calling you in 2014 to “go back” or “move forward”, I pray that you are obedient. I pray you seek the will of God for your life earnestly, and often. He is and always will be a God of possibilities. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).

He is also a God who “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3:20)

 Please enjoy this song the Lord gave me the day after I quit work. “This New Year” tells the story of a woman who leaves her past behind and follows her dreams. While the song tells my own personal story, I’m sure you can relate. You have your own hopes and dreams for your future.

 May you continue to pursue those hopes and dreams in this New Year.

 To view the video “This New Year”, please go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psz10ElkvYo

Sally Meadows is a singer/songwriter and freelance writer who lives in Saskatchewan, Canada. The title track of her debut CD “Turn the Page” was shortlisted for a national 2013 “The Word Awards” in the category “song lyrics”. The Word Awards are Canada’s biggest and most prestigious awards for those who write from a Christian perspective. “This New Year” is from her second CD, “Red & White”, released in December 2013. Both albums are available for digital download on iTunes, amazon.com, and cdbaby.com. The album is also available from her website store. 

Website: http://sallymeadows.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SallyMeadowsMusic

Twitter: @SallyMeadows

How do you choose to focus your lens?

Do you ever focus on the things that are not working in your life?

Sometimes I focus on something negative someone said to me, and the comment grows into a
mountain.   There are instances where I also focus on something someone said to me in my past, someone who made fun of me in elementary school, on friends that hurt me in highschool, or moments that
I thought defined me as a person that I chalked up as “not so great”.  The wounds are deep…..  Or else, I am in the present and tell myself, you are not good enough, you can not measure up.    Then my mind jumps into the future and fear, anxiety, and “what ifs” fill my mind.

Yes this is so true, most of us struggle with the voices inside our heads.    The voices that tell us that we are not enough, or that we need to be more.    The mind is such a powerful thing, it can lead us down a path of destructive self-talk.   Truly loving ourselves is sometimes so difficult.

We look in the mirror and see features we would like to change, and our thoughts stop us from experiencing complete contentment.  

What if you could choose to focus on the good?   What if you saw good in all of the moments where it felt uncomfortable, what if you saw good in every moment?  

Imagine this for a moment…

I choose to only see the good in the moments that take my breath away (illness, disappointment or trouble that heads our way),

I choose to only see good in my boss or coworkers, we are all here for a reason,

I choose to only see good in the driver in front of me, he/she might be having a bad day,

I choose to only see good in my spirited family, we compliment each others weaknesses,

I choose to only see good my friends or relationships, can be bumpy but the bumps teach us the greatest lessons,

I choose to only see good in my children that have a love/hate relationship, they are healthy and happy,

I choose to only see good in my spouse who snores too much and likes to be “right”,

And I choose to only see good in me because I AM BEAUTIFUL and have been beautifully made.

Sounds simple doesn’t it?   Could it be that simple????

The one thing we have been given in this life is the power of choice.   

We may not have control on what happens in this life, but the one thing we can control is how we respond.

You can choose to focus within, shift your perspective and see yourself and everything around you through rose colored glasses…. 

You may be thinking, I am a realist… But how does it feel focusing on the bad? 

Let it go, choose to love YOU! Put that STOP SIGN in your head as soon as the bad thoughts creep in.

Start by asking yourself today, what makes me beautiful and unique?   And as you begin to do this, choose to refocus your lens everywhere you go, every moment and everyone you touch.

Only you have the power to do so.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

 Dear Lord God,

Help us refocus on the good.  Help us to see what you have created, the moments that teach us what you want us to see.  Help us to see ourselves, the moments, and the people through your eyes.   I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

May you be blessed,

Ness