Fact or Fiction ~ Learning to live fully in the present

imageAs a young girl, I gravitated to a place of fiction, not fact.   What do I mean by that?   Much of my reactions were driven by my emotions.   Much of my feelings were internalized, and I allowed others insecurities or reactions define who I was.

The voices were my truth. The voices defined who I was.

I believe that everything happens for good, and I see the silver lining in my life now.   I am highly empathic, but that does not mean that I should “own” the feelings of others.   The ownership belongs to the individual, and the control is in God’s hands.

I have also had some realizations or aha moments.   These realizations may be helpful for you; in your life, work, or as a spouse, parent, or teen.

Is my response driven by Fact or Fiction?

Ask yourself if you are dealing with the facts in a situation, or is the response driven by emotion.   If your response is driven by emotion, ask yourself if it is because of the other persons actions towards you? Or is your response revealing something about you? Perhaps they are coming from a different place, realize that their emotions are not for you to own. Stick to the facts of the situation, probe for an answer in an inquisitive way.   If the response is revealing something about you, perhaps a fear, insecurity – get to the root and ask yourself is your response fact or fiction.

Another component of life in general is for us to choose to live in the present. Living in present allows us to experience every act, emotion, and situation fully.     Concentrating on what is happening now, and taking it all in for what it is, removes emotional baggage from our lives.     Every moment is not picture perfect, but the elements allow us to discover something about ourselves or others.  

I have realized that I have lived a good portion of my life in past and future orientation.   What does that mean?

It means that I look back on my past and say things like:

  • If they would have not bullied me (victim mentality)
  • If I would have done this differently (regrets – something we cannot change)

When we look backwards, it inhibits us to live in the now.   See how we are creating a fiction story based on past orientation?

When we are looking forwards we say things like:

  • If only in the future I have (regret of the present)
  • When I do this I will be happy (not happy in the now)
  • If I reach this milestone I will (looking forward for gratification)

Looking forward, does not allow us to be here and now.   You are creating a fiction story again.

All we have control of is now, the rest is beyond our control.   The past we cannot change, the future we have no control of.   God is in control; he is the navigator of the ship. If you are struggling with this in your life ask Him to provide clarity and to help you navigate.

Are you living in the present?   Are you navigating through life based on fact or fiction?

Pause now and reflect. Remember you DO have control of your response to every situation, and what you allow in and out.

Two verses that I believe complement this way of thinking are:

Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord will be kept safe.”

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Psalm 40:2 (NIV)


May you be blessed, thank-you for stopping by today. Consider sharing an experience or leaving a comment, I always enjoy hearing from you.




dear Vanessa ~ Paralysis by Analysis

I am blessed to be part of a team of women on a beautiful life ministry blog. Thought I would share a question from the reader base on “what if’s”. Come pop by for a read. Would love to hear from you! May you be blessed ❤

The Voice Within


The little girl sits on the bench, and worries about acceptance. She is the new girl yet again, and feels the butterflies in her stomach. She looks around, and gathers up the courage to approach others. Inside she is shaken, the confidence isn’t there. But to the outside person they see her as direct, and confident.

She has learnt how to camouflage, how to adjust to “fit” to others expectations. This behaviour becomes her norm. The voice within tells her she isn’t good enough, her hair is too curly, and she doesn’t look right…. She tries so hard to adjust to their likes, their wants, so she can be accepted.

Acceptance that is all she wants. She just wants to be accepted by her peers, for them to like her, not to exclude her. She just wishes she could be that girl in the hall that everyone loves….

She wants to be someone else……
As I look back on my life I see this girl looking right back at me. I feel sadness for her.

Why couldn’t she see through her parents eyes?

Why didn’t she know that He accepted her?

I don’t know the “why”. But I do know He works everything for good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)

He was always there, watching, waiting and knew that one day I would see.

He loved me then; He wanted so much for me to see through His eyes.

He brought people into my life to redirect my thoughts, He helped me when I felt like I was drowning, and He has shown me a different way.

I am thankful for the experiences; they have helped me to understand. The experiences have given me compassion when it is needed; they have helped me lead others out of the trap of believing what the enemy comes to sell us – LIES.

It is easy to fall into the trap and believe the lies, as Satan is very convincing.  He whispers words such as:

You messed up again.
You can’t do this, you should give up.
They don’t like you; you should conform to what they want.
This hill is too big to climb, I can’t do it.

But God does not want this, He wants us to live His word and hear His voice.  His words are TRUTH, REAL, TANGIBLE:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32 NIV)

      The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. (John 1:5 NIV)

You are beautiful, you are uniquely made.

There is only one of you in this world, and you are here to fulfill a purpose.

I know this now, it has taken me a good portion of my life to see myself through the eyes of a parent.   I see and now will transfer this perspective to anyone I know that seems to exhibit fear, insecurity and lack of confidence.

They will see through their Father’s eyes.

Today, take a moment and ask yourself, what do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see that you are wonderfully made?  Don’t believe the lies and remember the TRUTH.  Let the voice within speak the truth.  How are you going to spend the time you have in this life? In the light, or in darkness? I chose the light.

May you be blessed my friend and thank-you for popping by,

Take a moment to watch this video it gives a unique demonstration of how much time we have here (what do you chose to concentrate on?):