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Love Wins

love winsWe live in a hurting and broken world.   But amidst this hurting and broken world are moments of love, joy and peace.   Life is good, life is grand if you allow yourself to experience it in its entirety; and observe and be still.  

What drives your sense of being?  When do you feel full? What moments in your life were defining for you?  Could it be moments that you experience deep love and joy? 

I use to think that love could only be experienced when the moments were just perfect.   Happiness is present, joy is present, and everything seems like perfection. 

Over the past years, our family has had their share of pain, suffering and hurting.   There were moments where I stood back and pinched myself, and asked, “Is this for real??”   But I will tell you this much, in those moments I felt the deepest unconditional love that one could ever experience.  

  • A fractured C1, in an 8lb halo, observing my children laughing in the household, my husband holding it together, my parents unsure of what is next for their daughter, my brother calling and checking in, my in-laws travelling to see us and show that they care, feeling so thankful and much gratitude for my beautiful messy life.  I had a second chance and was fully alive.
  • My father in law and my mom both going through health issues that were unbelievable, moments where you wondered if they would live a normal life.   Two moments I recall in my mind, the day I shaved my mom’s hair for the first time, trying to be strong and at the same time feeling like a child.  My mother, so beautiful, so strong, always there for me. Smiling as I glanced at my mom, and told her how beautiful she was.  I was in complete and utter adoration.  Another moment, heading to see my mother in law  in another city.  She was trying to keep everything together, trying to be strong, and at the same time shed a smile for me as we heated up a nice Ukrainian meal for her and one to take to my father in law in the hospital.   I made her laugh in the pain.  She was so appreciative, and felt so loved, and so was my father in law.  He was overjoyed with us coming to see him, not so much the meal but coming and really being there.  I remember thinking, I love these people so much and was so thankful to be able to help in some small way. Unconditional love.

These were moments that made time stand still.   My discovery –  there is purpose in pain, and love shines through.    There can be moments where we feel complete loss, but at the same time, love shines through.   People come together to help, to contribute, and to show how much they care. Unconditional love, expecting nothing in return.

With the recent events in Paris we all are in tune to what is happening.  A beautiful friend of mine is currently in France.   The first person I thought of when all of the events happened was her.  She was recently married, and I wondered where they were.     After connecting, I was reassured she is healthy and good.   She gave me a picture of her experience in the pain.   She has exposed me to a wonderful perspective of purpose in pain:

My favorite part of the news coverage is the words of survivors, because it’s actual quite balanced, revealing all aspects of the situation, not hateful.   Many survivors are saying such wonderful things.  Yes it was a horror.  But they talk about the love, watching people protect their loved ones, the kindness of strangers in helping them escape or hide, and the kindness of strangers in consoling them.   But the most comforting statements of all are about watching people cradle their loved ones as they lay injured/dying, and noting these last conversations were all about love, and the people they loved most.   I love the thought that people’s last thoughts as they suffered were not in fact of the terrorists, were not hateful – but instead positive in that people were thinking of their loved ones.  No, it may not be happiness they were feeling, but it was love.  Such a beautiful thought that in some way, its proof that in those last moments, love won out over hate.  

Love Wins my friends, love shows through the pain, and the adoration we feel for one another is amplified.      No matter what happens, we can choose our response.      Love Wins. 

 

Dear Lord God,

Thank-you for this perspective today, I am rest assured that the happiness and pain bring love.   Love always shines through, and love wins God.   Today I am still, and observe Your great works in the pain.   No one can overcome this.   I pray for those family going through difficulty, illness, or loss right now, help bring them purpose in the pain.   I pray for your love to erode their lives in actions and the reactions of others.   Through this, we will reign.  I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

 

May you be blessed today my friend, Be Still and Know that He is God and that His Love will always overcome.  

Love Makes the World Go Around

image (11)Tonight as I sit and gaze at the moon light, I realize although I do not know it all, I do know one thing– Love makes the world go around.

Love so powerful, so magical, and at the same time brings such peace to this life.

In “Man’s search for Meaning” by Victor Frankel, he says “Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.” 

Love for others…is so powerful.

In order to love fully I believe we must love ourselves first.   It is through loving ourselves we are able to see beauty in others.    It took me most of my life to love myself.   Maybe some would be surprised that I just started really loving myself these past few years.      It feels good to be finally comfortable in my own skin.  For some they never experience this.

Too often we lose ourselves in life, or material things.    The external validation to feel good…    These things are temporary, and do not last.  Real Love lasts forever.

Yes there are bad things that happen in our lives, but if we choose to focus on the love we share, it will pull us through.   The love that we can extend to each other when someone is in need can make such a difference. 

Selfless acts of kindness.  These acts have ripple effects. Every action has a reaction.   The more we show one another love, the better life can be.

I sound a bit idealistic don’t I?  

But I want to tell you today, that this is real.

Sending a note to a friend saying “I care”, asking someone “How are you doing” and really listening, giving of ourselves for someone else, saying “sorry” when it may not  be your fault, turning the cheek and not engaging in conflict, leading by example, and showing love – ALL MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.

It is when we do these things we truly see the heart of one another.

Someone once told me that I would have to learn how to not personalize relationships in order to climb through this life.  

But I thought really?  Is this what we have become to climb?  But who are we then stepping on?

Having superficial conversations, not really caring how the other feels?  That is the way to climb life?

I struggled a bit with this, but I realized that acting this way would be against my grain.   I truly love others, I want to get to know them, understand what drives them and see them for who they are, right where they are.  

Have I been burnt? Hell ya! 

But the question is, how many times have I had kindness come back to me? A million times over!!

 What you send out there comes right back.

I choose no walls.

I choose to hug, laugh, and smile.

I choose to love life and people with my heart.

I choose to see others and myself through God’s eyes.

 

So today I challenge you, where can you show love to others?    Start now, and do it every day because it sure makes life pretty darn special.

 

 

Living for the Moment

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“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33, NIV).

As I read this today, I paused and realized how very fortunate I have been in my life.   God has granted me a life that is full.   There have been moments that took my breath away, but I believe these moments we are meant to experience fully.  Some moments may not be ideal, but they bring us where we need to be.   The light always overcomes the darkness.

As I drive to work every day, on my ride I am overcome by God’s goodness, His faithfulness, His never-ending love, His forgiveness.  I start my morning ride with a prayer, “be my eyes to see what you want me to see, be my ears to hear the words you want me to hear, be my mouth to speak what you want me to speak….”  I pray this with conviction and ask for God to direct my children and husband in the same way.   I then pause, and cry, my eyes water and I feel full of thankfulness.  “Thank-you God for saving me, and giving me a second chance.”

You see not long ago, 4 years ago (January 2011), life changed in a moment.   The moment felt like forever, seconds seemed like minutes, diving into the pool a whisper said, “You are going to be ok, but brace yourself, this is going to be tough, brace your neck.”  The reassurance I felt to my core, and I knew it was Him.     A few days later I had my halo, a halo brace that weighed 8lbs.  A c1 fracture that not many survive displaced and never healed on paper.   But by the grace of God, I chose to TRUST in him.     He has shown me so much, and His grace has extended beyond my greatest expectations.   

By His grace this is what I am learning:

  • Life is about the moments that take your breath away good and bad.
  • Trusting in Him is the only way.
  • Don’t give up when you feel like you can’t take it any-more, He has overcome the world!
  • Start and end the day with Him, He will help me navigate through the days struggles.
  • Family is what matters, live every moment in Love for family, friends and those close to you.
  • Extend a hand when you feel like you can’t. Whether it is sharing a smile or giving love, support to those in need.  We all are hurting, reach out and touch someone, it will make a difference.
  • Live for today, don’t look back.
  • Don’t judge, everyone has a story and we are all children of His.
  • Forgiveness goes a long way, let it go and give it to Him.
  • Love, love, love, spread the love, it has ripple effects.
  • Be grateful, live a life of gratitude. It’s all in the attitude!
  • God is in control, all we have control of is our response.

Thank-you God for all of your love.  Thank-you for leading me to a place I would never change.   Father, I pray that  my days will be filled with your grace.  I thank-you Father for saving me in so many ways and for the blood of Jesus, that promises us a life where the sun is always shining.  You promises are everlasting and I love you with my whole heart.

As you pause this season, may you take all of the moments in fully.  May you be blessed my friends over this season where we have so much to be thankful for.

~Vanessa

What are you grateful for today?  Live for today and spread the love!

If you have a question or a musing for me would love to hear from you, send me an email at nesschesters@gmail.com

Sharing our Stories for Good

image (2)We all have a story, but did you know they were meant to be shared for good?   We all have gone through experiences that have built us to be the person we are today.     He has built us for good…

Too often we build up a shield after we experience something to protect us from the pain. But let me ask you, isn’t He there to protect you? Isn’t our Father there to guide us, to help us heal, to aid us in letting go and giving it to Him?

“You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept.” Matthew 5:14 (MSG)

Do you have a story inside that you know someone can benefit from hearing?   Have there been instances where you have felt a little nudge at your heart, asking you to share?

I will tell you this much, not once did I ever think in my own life that a girl who was bullied for most of her life and didn’t love herself, or a girl that was raped and physically assaulted, or a girl that fractured her neck and nearly lost her life was built for good.   Looking back on my life, I realized that all of these experiences built empathy, courage, and aided me in realizing I am not alone.  

Our wonderful Father uses this for the good of others.   But first you have to take the hardest step….

Forgive.

Then you have to…

Let go and give it to God.

He will use it in a way you would have least expected.       Today I want to share a story with you all where I know it is used for His good.   The courage, love and miracles in this story will amaze you. God is here with us every moment.   I am so thankful I broke my neck 3 ½ years ago on a family trip because I would never have seen how one can turn into many.

Here is Coffy’s story:

Just sharing my story with the hope of help for my 6 children and I. My name is Coffy. I am a 39 year old single mother of six, ages 1 ½, 3, 4, 6, 10, and 12. I was born and raised in San Francisco, however I moved to San Mateo County after having my 2nd child. As anyone I have had my struggles, but I continued to fight to rise above them. In 2012, my younger children’s father walked out on us while I was 7 months pregnant with our fourth son. I thought to myself, “How will I ever make it without him?” I hadn’t been working; we had no money! I was devastated and in a dark place but I immediately started looking for a job. Soon after delivery, I was employed and on my way to being self-sufficient and a provider for my children. Life was looking AWESOME….I pulled it all together even when I thought I couldn’t! I was paying for my son’s’ to go to a Christian private school and my daughter goes to a College Prep School. I was so proud of myself and all my children. I never thought, not for one second, my life could get any worse than it was when he left me…Boy Was I Wrong!!!Thursday, February 20th at exactly 6:47 a.m., all our lives were changed forever. While turning onto a freeway entrance, my children and I were victims of a hit and run. The guy who hit us caused our truck to flip violently across the freeway as he drove away. After the 4th or 5th flip, I lost count. My children’s screams, “Mommy, Mommy, Help Us!” is all I could hear now.” “Hold on Babies, Mommy’s Coming, Mommy’s Coming…Mommy’s Coming! (Please Lord, let me get to them!)” Now we’re skidding and I see a glimpse of what I thought was light which I believed to be a clear path to slide until we stopped. It turned out to be a burial of white concrete bricks and I thought to myself, “Oh God, no please, we’ll blow up!” Simultaneously, the Lord flipped our truck away from the bricks. We flipped three more times and finally came to a sliding stop on the roof. Everybody was screaming. My head was pounding and my left arm was burning and wouldn’t move. At the time, what I didn’t know is that I would later hear the Doctor tell me my neck was broken from the C5 to C7 on both sides. Spring into action, “Go, Go, Go”, I keep telling myself, but I can’t move. My legs are pinned under the dash, I’m losing feeling in my left hand…my left arm is burning and my left leg is tingling. I started to silently pray and then I hear my 12 year old daughter scream out, “Our Father who art in Heaven” My sons are now praying. God is so good he allowed my feet to pull free! Now I go for my seat belt. Not thinking to brace myself, I unstrapped it and my head crashed to the roof. My daughter screams out “Your head is bleeding” totally dazed and more than confused I was able to shimmy backward out the window. I kept saying out loud, “Stay Awake” and “Lord be with us. Please let me get them out first”. It was the screams of my children that kept me up. My four year old hops out quick; the rest are in shock. I’m crawling on the ground trying to get to the baby, but I’m losing consciousness. I feel someone grab me it hurts… I scream, “No, I gotta get my babies out of here” and I hear, “We’re going to help you.” I stop and look up, he picks me up and suddenly there are people everywhere and before I knew it they were all in action. I keep going in and out of consciousness I hear 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 we got them all!” I started screaming, “No, 6! There are 6…6 I look up and my daughter was trapped, not only were her feet and legs pinned under the dash, now the truck was smoking. I screamed, “Please, my Daughter, my Daughter!” I try to get up and run, but I fall. The closer I get they yell out; “Get away from the truck!” I scream out, “Please help her! You got to get her out.” They are holding me back as I dig my nails into the cement trying to pull myself to the truck. I’m almost to the truck and he picks me up and says, “I have to get you away from the truck; it’s smoking.” Then I hear, “I have a fire extinguisher.” I lose my mind and drop! Crawling, clawing, and pushing away, I make it to my daughter. She looks at me and says, “Mommy, I can’t get out. I’m stuck!” I don’t know what to say to her. With every, bit of faith I had I say, “No baby, you’re free, just push yourself out of there!” All praise be to God, because she pushed and they pulled, and I heard, “We got her!” Not one of them was physically hurt except for a scratch on my daughter’s shoulder, however mentally their lives have been changed forever. They are now tormented with PTSD and flash backs, both in their sleep and while they are awake. I on the other hand went through an eight hour surgery to repair my neck and nerves. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I lost the use of my left side for the first 9 days. Slowly, I began to learn to walk again, however I can’t feel my leg. I’ve also lost feeling in the left arm and hand. When I was hospitalized, I got tired of repeating this tragedy, so I shared a piece on Facebook for family and friends. It was also at the recommendation of the doctor who was concerned with my mental health. When I could talk I made a call to a lifelong friend to get some help. He found me a lawyer who shattered all hope. He told me I had no case since I had no plate number or information on the other driver. He had nothing to go on and that since I only had liability, unfortunately, I would be walking away from it all with only my injuries! I was so devastated. How can this be? We’re the victims. How could you not help us?”Based on the disappointing news from the lawyer, I decided to advocate for myself. I called CHP to get a copy of the report. When I received the report it made no sense to me. I took it to victim services who told me it was the first time in their career that they had ever seen such a shallow report. She also raised the point of why there was no follow-up after the accident. I mean after all, there were cameras at the intersection where the accident occurred, as well as, all through the parking lot in front of the airport. The cameras were never checked. That car was next to me at least 60 seconds before the light changed and no one even bothered to get the plate number and now it may be too late to retrieve it. I also showed the shallow report to a Daly City Police Detective who said, “Where’s the rest?” and after reading it completely, he looks up and says, “It’s amusing that the last sentence of this report says no injuries to report! Are they serious? Your neck is broke!” That confused me even more. No injuries to report, wow unbelievable. Something is definitely wrong here. Someone messed up big time. I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. I’m not looking for pity. I’m looking for help! I’m looking for justice! This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. My children and I have no quality of life. I can’t get my three older children to school, so they stay in San Francisco at my dad’s in a studio. I am a prisoner of my home…. I can’t pick up my son, nor anything over 5 pounds. Nor, can I do anything for myself physically. Here I was an IHSS care giver and just yesterday I had a visit from an IHSS worker and I am now a patient. That broke me down to the core of my soul. If I wasn’t strong willed, I’d give up. But that’s never been me; especially with regards to my children. This is not fair. My children and I just put our lives back together. I’d been working only a year. All of my focus was on continuing to build myself up so I could be a strong single mom. I had not one sick day out all year! I was striving to be a productive person my goal was to give back to the people and community that gave to me as I have all my life. On February 20th that was all taken away from me and my children. No matter what, I will continue to fight my way back to get as close as I can to being 100% of who I was before the accident. Therapy brings mind blowing pain, but without it I won’t have any function of my arms which only rise to my shoulders. If it’s God’s will, I will regain full use and feeling of my left side. I just want to reiterate, I’m not looking for pity. I’m looking for help to get justice and a peace of mind for my children as well as myself. As if the accident wasn’t enough….just as I’m starting to try to adjust to life as a broken neck survivor, Murphy’s Law hit me harder than ever! May 13, 2014, 1:37 a.m. I am awoken by my care giver who is my mother. I’m confused as to why she is shaking me with such force then I hear her say, Fire! I say, “What”? She says, “We got to get out of here.” I’m dizzy from my meds, but I get up! I go to run to my children and I hear they’re outside already. I break down as I watch the flames melt the paint and make its way violently through what was my house. I’m in shock. I see the flames tapping at the window where my son lays his head Dear Lord…is this really happening? I should be making my way out of the house, but all I can do is focus on my life and the events that are occurring. Am I really going to lose my house and everything I tried so hard to give my children? We just moved in six months ago! Before I know it, I’m on the curb watching my house and the two houses next to it where the fire started burn to its leisure. I stood there until 3am and watched my house burn praying that we have something left. We stood there with no shoes half-dressed freezing, my children traumatized crying to my mother as they trembled and I stood there in a neck brace not able to comfort either one of them physically not even hold my baby. My 4 year old starts praying, I break down he says mom, we’ll be OK. God will take care of us. I’m amazed at his courage and draw strength from him. I’m told we cannot go back into the house until the next day…I’m devastated. I was given a referral to the Red Cross for temporary housing and shelter referrals. Wait what…did he just say shelter?! Lord why….why is this happening to us? So here we sit all 8 of us in a 1 bedroom shelter with 1 bed and 1 bunk bed. Don’t get me wrong, I thank the lord for putting a roof over our heads; and I also think of all that was lost some things can’t be replaced. Feb. 20th I lost myself to a broken neck. I’ve not yet found myself. May 13th, I lost my children’s home and most of our belongings. Yes, I did sift through the rubble to see what I could save, but with the damage not much was salvageable. It’s now September 10th and we are still at the shelter. I have 80 days left to find permanent housing or I lose my Section 8 voucher. Which leaves my children and me in the shelter until our time here is up. We have nowhere to go, Lord please help us! My girlfriend started a fund for us 2 days after the fire. A prayer for my children and I is all I ask for. If your heart compels you to do more…..God bless you.!  https://fundly.com/for-coffy-fam-a-little-help-to-bounce-back

Thank-you Father for this opportunity to know these people through You and your work in my life.

I pray for Coffy and all of your children, may they trust in You and Your works Lord.  May they give it all to YOU.  I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen ~ Vanessa

We are here today, gone tomorrow

our days are numbered

Over the past year I have seen a man fight for his life who has only had two years to see his child smile, I have seen a little boy the same age as mine fight for his life, and one lose his life.   These moments are tough for all of us, losing someone in our lives can be difficult and seems so unfair. These moments rock me to the core.   I just want to take all of the pain away, but that is not my job. Lean not on your own understanding. That is the voice that keeps coming to mind. My understanding does not see the full picture or plan, and sometimes miracles happen and other times this is all part a plan that we will only understand when we leave this world.  

I had moments where I did not understand the plan until much later and perhaps more is to come.  

When I fractured my neck, laying in a bed with my dad, brother and husband around me with a priest praying that I will be able to walk and to see my children again.   Three years later I am walking, and have a new normal and have a perspective that I am so thankful for.

Or the moment when I laid my head on my grandfather’s chest and heard his last heartbeat.  Letting go was difficult, but when one life passed another was given (the next day I found out I was pregnant with our second son).

Seeing my mother in pain, and wondering what was next.  Prayer, thanksgiving and petition make the difference.

But I will tell you something, these moments although frightening, and fear of the unknown rose up in my soul, I chose to lift up my worries and pray.   God is in control and I am so thankful for God showing me a different perspective in the pain.     All things in this life are for good. Sometimes it is hard to believe or difficult to see when your eyes are blurred by what is right in front of you.

The lovely web of life teaches us as we experience the moments that take our breath away.   We adjust and change the lens we look through, and we begin to ponder more about life and the moments.    

Life is short, and our time is numbered.   The bible clearly lays this out, and it also helps direct us on where we choose to focus our time and energy.  

Many times I hear people say “when I am retired I plan to travel”, or “when things are less busy we will get together”, or “things will get easier once we are past this stage in our lives”.

Looking ahead and saying” I will when….” “When” may never come. We are here today and gone tomorrow.

We need to focus on the now, make the most of our time here.   This means, living for today, surrounding yourself with love, removing the negativity, and making a choice for the good. And yes there are days when the waves seem to be crashing over us; during these times you can choose focus on what is important. Love and spreading it everywhere.

You have a choice. Where do you choose to focus your time?   Heaven can be on earth… Let go of the fear and live for today.

Be blessed my friend,

Ness

Pause and start your day with love

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What goes around comes around… Do you believe this statement?

I believe that what you send out there comes back full circle.

I believe you are what you think. Each one of us has the power to adjust and change for the better.

Do you believe?

I have been through many storms in this life, and each storm I have been drenched to the bone.   I have weathered the storms and the sun has broken the clouds.   The warmth has replaced the fear and doubt. It has given me the strength to take one step in front of the other.

What have I found through these rainy days? Love wins.

The love of family, the love of a friend, the love from our God up above.   He has the power to fight the storms, and to bring the sunshine through the rain.

I believe in love, and the sunshine after the rain… The sunshine that brings you home again.

Perception is everything my friend.

Are you going to dance in the rain?

Start your day with the dance, and send out a note of love and gratitude.

I will tell you this much, it will come right back to you.

Smile when it feels like it hurts,

Lend a hand when you feel like you can’t take it anymore,

Step forward right out into the sunshine!

Love wins.

 

May you be blessed.  Thank-you Father for your ever lasting love,

Ness

Mothers – A gift from above

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Mothers – we all have them, and when we reflect on these amazing women, we smile.   Women that give their 24 hours to the ones they love.  Often thinking about everyone else before they think about themselves.    I am blessed, to have a mother and a mother in law of strength.   Yes, this world is not easy.  We all hit a wall at times in our lives where we need to hammer away and break it down.   But we can make it through, with love and strength.   1524820_10151937501936010_2125577911_n

Major events have happened over these past three years, I cannot even make this stuff up.  But the key is finding grace in the moments that take our breath away.  Mom you have shown me this.     I also want to say the same about my amazing mother in law.  We all have had to put one step in front of the other, but we keep moving forward.

Day after day God shows me His gentle hand. He is always there, and always promises triumph. Although it may not be on our time, but triumph ALWAYS happens.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

We are meant for an abundant life, if we learn that we are not in control – that He is there to lead, lift, carry and hold. I thank Him every day for the perspective in the pain, and the love that always shows through.

Today lets all reflect on how amazing our mothers are. For those of you that have children, we tend to be hard on ourselves on our ability to “mother”. We are our worst critics… Remember to always give yourself a basket of grace. REST. 

I adore my mother, she is a testament of strength and has a heart full of gold. She has always put others before herself (sound familiar)?? In dedication to this amazing woman, I thought I would write a poem to capture my thoughts.

A Letter to My Mom

As a babe, I look up at my mom and see her blue eyes.

They are beautiful and bright.

The love radiates and flows.

A love that cannot be explained, unconditional.

A bond that is everlasting and shared by two.

Over the years, the eyes change – brought by love, hope, heart ache and pain.

The lines and creases begin to show.

The lines define the moments in time where there was much happiness and sometimes tears.

She is strength, she is life, she is warm, she is a fighter and she defines love.

She has helped me most to grow.

She has helped me through my life and my “lows”.

She feels my pain when I hurt, and over time as I grow, I feel her hurts too.

We are one; the bond can never be undone.

She healed my wounds when they were deep, she has whispered sweet words as a child to me when I sleep.

We share a bond, that is so strong.

All through the years, I know this much is true, I have become the woman I am today because of you.

You are my mother – a women of strength, determination, living with your heart and soul.

I adore you.Me and my beautiful mama

 

Take some time to celebrate the mothers, grandmothers, step mothers that have helped us through our lives. A remember to celebrate you too when you’re doing it!