The Power of Choice

power of choice

As a young girl I didn’t realize that my thoughts created my reality.   Years later, as I look back in time, I was often a victim.   Yes, there were circumstances that contributed to this way of thinking, but I was in the dysfunctional emotional triangle.

It is so easy to fall into the triangle of dysfunction.   There are three roles:

  • The Victim: thoughts of poor me, why do they treat me this way, life is always hard, actions that demonstrate feeling unworthy, and the world is against you.
  • The Savior: thoughts of I can save them, they need my help, I need to rescue the situation, actions that demonstrate a sense of urgency at every corner, helping put out fires and acting like superwoman/man in every situation.
  • The Persecutor: thoughts of why did they do that, they caused the problem, it was all their fault, at every corner this person plays the blame game.

Do you see a theme here?   Emotionally driven reactions.     When we are in this triangle we cannot see the situation for what it is.     I was in this triangle for most of my life.   How exhausting hey?   But when you are use to a state of drama in your life, that’s what gravitates towards you on a continual basis.

This leads me to the power of choice.   We all have the power to choose a reaction, and a state that is different.  I have heard people say that I have always been this way, that’s just me, can’t change.   I will respectfully disagree, because we all have the power to choose a different response.   The power of choice is an amazing thing.

There was a moment in my life where everything shifted, and I realized that I had the power to move forward or the power to become a victim of my circumstances.  This occurred when I almost lost my life.    My injury was one that 10% of those people that have the injury survive and live a life where they are able to function normally.   Odds totally against me right?  WRONG.

My choice was to believe in something beyond all of our understanding, to trust in Him completely and move forward in His grace.    Looking back it was a scary time, so much unknown.   I am not free from physical pain, but I choose to believe in the best outcome.  My fracture in my neck never healed or fused completely, but I choose a life that is full.

Every moment of every day I choose to see the good.   There are times where the old habits catch me a bit, and I fall back in for a few moments, but I pull myself back out.    The power of choice is an amazing thing.

YOU my friend have the power to choose the good before the bad, to move forward in your life and create your own silver lining in every circumstance.    What you put out there in life comes full circle.  Do you choose to project the good?   Because I am telling you once you remove the drama, and the emotional dysfunction, life becomes sooooo good.

 

May you be blessed my friend, and know you have the power inside of you in every moment.

~Ness

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Sharing Your Story For Good

sharing your storySecrets…. Fear… Judgement… Pain…

We all have experienced these feelings.   We push the event downward, or we avoid talking about it.  But did you know that by sharing we can heal and let go of the shackles that are holding us back from becoming all that we were meant to be?  Step out in Faith.

Do you have a story stored deep inside that needs to find its way out?  Is it a work of God in your life, or an experience that He has delivered you from or given you the strength to endure?

We all have stories that define and refine us to make us new.    Our stories can help others, and are powerful tools for building Gods Kingdom.

We may at times in our lives feel like we are in a storm, but the storm happens for the good of His kingdom.  God calls us to share and it is by sharing that we defeat the evil one and spread the good that has happened in this life. Your story can bring hope, joy and lift the fear whether it is for you or another.

  • “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20 (NIV)
  • “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—“ Acts 1:8 (NIV)
  • “Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power. I will mediate on your majestic, glorious splendour and your wonderful miracles.  Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; I will proclaim your    Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness; they will sing with joy about your righteousness.” Psalm 145:4-7 (NLT)

We need to realize in this life we are not in control of “what” happens.  The “what” is all up to God, but there is one thing we can control – we can control our response.    If we choose to respond by leaning on God and to respond by opening up and sharing, supporting, and loving one another,  can ignite a power beyond all understanding.  

  • “Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone.  And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.   And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”  Deuteronomy 6:4-7 (NLT)

God wants us to share, to support, to love.    He wants to direct our paths, and speak the world through us.   The devil comes to steal and convinces us that our story is not worth sharing, and wants to keep us silent. 

Self-Discovery and Story Framing

Questions to navigate through as we discover the stories deep down inside of us:

  • What were the moments in my life that created changes in me as a person? Who was involved?  (Ponder)
  • Did these moments change the direction of my life? If I was to sum up my experiences into one word what would it be? (DISCUSSION)
  • If I was to sum up my experiences into a statement or sentence what would it be? (DISCUSSION)
  • What verse in the bible has impacted me the most on this journey we call life? (DISCUSSION)
  • Who was I before these moments occurred?
  • How did I meet Jesus in these moments of my life? What did I learn?
  • What was the “good” that came out of these moments?

 

Sharing My Story

It may feel outside of your comfort zone to share, or you may feel unsure.   Remember that the devil comes to steal; are the words that you are hearing – words of love or self-condemnation?   Some key points to remember when you choose to share your story:

  • Sharing my story builds understanding of Jesus’ power to save and heal.
  • Sharing my story builds others and brings down the walls we build inside to protect.
  • Sharing my story can be based on my level of comfort (written, to let go of the feelings inside, or with friends/family). I can pray for direction here.
  • Sharing my story will help myself and others.

 

“Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

If you are unsure about how much you want to share, pray, give it to God and He will direct your paths.  The voice inside us is powerful and can build others up.  Shine your light.

Today take the first step, pause and pray, and write down 2 people you can share your story with:

1)

2)

You are also welcome to share your story with me, you can email me at nesschesters@gmail.com

May you be blessed.

How do you choose to focus your lens?

I choose to focus on

Do you ever focus on the things that are not working in your life?

Sometimes I focus on something negative someone said to me, and the comment grows into a
mountain.   There are instances where I also focus on something someone said to me in my past, someone who made fun of me in elementary school, on friends that hurt me in highschool, or moments that
I thought defined me as a person that I chalked up as “not so great”.  The wounds are deep…..  Or else, I am in the present and tell myself, you are not good enough, you can not measure up.    Then my mind jumps into the future and fear, anxiety, and “what ifs” fill my mind.

Yes this is so true, most of us struggle with the voices inside our heads.    The voices that tell us that we are not enough, or that we need to be more.    The mind is such a powerful thing, it can lead us down a path of destructive self-talk.   Truly loving ourselves is sometimes so difficult.

We look in the mirror and see features we would like to change, and our thoughts stop us from experiencing complete contentment.  

What if you could choose to focus on the good?   What if you saw good in all of the moments where it felt uncomfortable, what if you saw good in every moment?  

Imagine this for a moment…

I choose to only see the good in the moments that take my breath away (illness, disappointment or trouble that heads our way),

I choose to only see good in my boss or coworkers, we are all here for a reason,

I choose to only see good in the driver in front of me, he/she might be having a bad day,

I choose to only see good in my spirited family, we compliment each others weaknesses,

I choose to only see good my friends or relationships, can be bumpy but the bumps teach us the greatest lessons,

I choose to only see good in my children that have a love/hate relationship, they are healthy and happy,

I choose to only see good in my spouse who snores too much and likes to be “right”,

And I choose to only see good in me because I AM BEAUTIFUL and have been beautifully made.

Sounds simple doesn’t it?   Could it be that simple????

The one thing we have been given in this life is the power of choice.   

We may not have control on what happens in this life, but the one thing we can control is how we respond.

You can choose to focus within, shift your perspective and see yourself and everything around you through rose colored glasses…. 

You may be thinking, I am a realist… But how does it feel focusing on the bad? 

Let it go, choose to love YOU! Put that STOP SIGN in your head as soon as the bad thoughts creep in.

Start by asking yourself today, what makes me beautiful and unique?   And as you begin to do this, choose to refocus your lens everywhere you go, every moment and everyone you touch.

Only you have the power to do so.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

 Dear Lord God,

Help us refocus on the good.  Help us to see what you have created, the moments that teach us what you want us to see.  Help us to see ourselves, the moments, and the people through your eyes.   I pray for this in Jesus Name Amen.

May you be blessed,

Ness