Giving Grace

10 Years ago I experienced a trauma that impacted so many in my life and those that love me. I will say that this trauma has also brought so much grace, and positives although felt like one of the hardest times in my life.

In this life we all go through events that cause us to reflect, decide, and/or determine a new direction or take a new step. I believe this life is much like a metamorphosis. We are all brought to this world without impressions or biases and as life progresses through many of the societal norms we shift and change our perspective. I truly believe that we are here to “unlearn” all of these items and to become whole again, much like a newborn who is seeing everything for the first time without judgement and rather with curiosity. I am on this journey now and have realized all of the traumatic experiences in this life are aiding in the development to become whole again. I am so thankful for the events because they too have made me realize how others may feel as they go through similar events.

While each event is unique to the individual and we can relate to one another, we do not completely know what the individual is experiencing. We do not understand until we complete “walk in their shoes”. However, this is where the human condition is so extraordinary, when we can relate, we can show grace and love for one another. I believe this is truly a primary purpose as to why we are here. Once we can relate, we can be there as a guide or listener. By seeking to understand and showing grace, we all reveal hope. Through the hope, love and grace outshine any difficulty.

Have you ever took a step back and asked yourself why are we all here?

Goodness, grace, and love always reigns when we can come together to share, to compare, to help, to support. It may be something that may seem insignificant to you, but to the person on the opposite side of the table it could be their LIGHT.

I am thankful for the difficulties, as they have helped to make me realize that every breath in this life is a gift. Really taking in each moment and being curious as to what we are learning from the moment are the greatest gifts we are given. This can be in our hardest times as well. I thank and honor this grand universe for the learning opportunities that have helped me soften my heart and open my eyes to the reality of what is.

As I look back to 10 years ago dancing with my sons, and trying to make light of my experience, it brings a few tears. But I give myself grace knowing that my children saw their mother and her resilience in the experience. https://youtu.be/-4j7lE5d0BI

These other two videos were crucial moments as well, and I was in complete fear as what was to come. On the day the halo came off, I found out my hangman’s fracture did not heal, in fact it was worse off than before. https://youtu.be/o23NLhgjZ0g and https://youtu.be/H_5lk01G8y0 . I had so many question of what was to come. What did this mean for me as a mother, daughter, wife that my C1 was still broken, shattered, it didn’t heal? The months that followed I questioned so much, and did not relay my fear to my boys. All throughout the experience I wanted them to see strength, resilience, and that when things happen in our lives we have the power to get through. Today many would not even know I still have a broken neck (C1 stabilized by scar tissue and cartilage) . But I chose faith, and to focus on what I could do vs what I could not do.

There are so many emotions that rush back as I live this again. I am so very thankful for my family through this time, for my husband, mom and dad, my in laws, my brother/sister in law and friends that are like family. The support I was given was what carried me through. The love I had for the ones that surrounded me was my inspiration to know that life does get better. One step at a time…. That is what it takes to move forward and a large cup of grace for ones self.

Today in this COVID world there is a lot going on around all of us, but the items that always stay true is the love that surrounds us from those we call family. This world is full of beauty. There is beauty that exists is in every moment if you chose to find it. I truly believe we are all broken in some way, but the beautiful aspects exist all around us and inside us. The power comes from when we decide to choose that regardless of what is happening, to find the beautiful. It starts by looking in the mirror at yourself.

I did then what I knew to do. Now I know better, I do better. – Maya Angelou

Love Ness

Living for the Moment

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“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33, NIV).

As I read this today, I paused and realized how very fortunate I have been in my life.   God has granted me a life that is full.   There have been moments that took my breath away, but I believe these moments we are meant to experience fully.  Some moments may not be ideal, but they bring us where we need to be.   The light always overcomes the darkness.

As I drive to work every day, on my ride I am overcome by God’s goodness, His faithfulness, His never-ending love, His forgiveness.  I start my morning ride with a prayer, “be my eyes to see what you want me to see, be my ears to hear the words you want me to hear, be my mouth to speak what you want me to speak….”  I pray this with conviction and ask for God to direct my children and husband in the same way.   I then pause, and cry, my eyes water and I feel full of thankfulness.  “Thank-you God for saving me, and giving me a second chance.”

You see not long ago, 4 years ago (January 2011), life changed in a moment.   The moment felt like forever, seconds seemed like minutes, diving into the pool a whisper said, “You are going to be ok, but brace yourself, this is going to be tough, brace your neck.”  The reassurance I felt to my core, and I knew it was Him.     A few days later I had my halo, a halo brace that weighed 8lbs.  A c1 fracture that not many survive displaced and never healed on paper.   But by the grace of God, I chose to TRUST in him.     He has shown me so much, and His grace has extended beyond my greatest expectations.   

By His grace this is what I am learning:

  • Life is about the moments that take your breath away good and bad.
  • Trusting in Him is the only way.
  • Don’t give up when you feel like you can’t take it any-more, He has overcome the world!
  • Start and end the day with Him, He will help me navigate through the days struggles.
  • Family is what matters, live every moment in Love for family, friends and those close to you.
  • Extend a hand when you feel like you can’t. Whether it is sharing a smile or giving love, support to those in need.  We all are hurting, reach out and touch someone, it will make a difference.
  • Live for today, don’t look back.
  • Don’t judge, everyone has a story and we are all children of His.
  • Forgiveness goes a long way, let it go and give it to Him.
  • Love, love, love, spread the love, it has ripple effects.
  • Be grateful, live a life of gratitude. It’s all in the attitude!
  • God is in control, all we have control of is our response.

Thank-you God for all of your love.  Thank-you for leading me to a place I would never change.   Father, I pray that  my days will be filled with your grace.  I thank-you Father for saving me in so many ways and for the blood of Jesus, that promises us a life where the sun is always shining.  You promises are everlasting and I love you with my whole heart.

As you pause this season, may you take all of the moments in fully.  May you be blessed my friends over this season where we have so much to be thankful for.

~Vanessa

What are you grateful for today?  Live for today and spread the love!

If you have a question or a musing for me would love to hear from you, send me an email at nesschesters@gmail.com