I’m just a girl….

a beautiful life ministry

july 27

Reality is, I want to be something more, something besides me. Everything that I do, including perusing the beautiful garden paths section of pinterest, creates visions and dreams in my mind of what I could be, what I could have, how I could change my reality into that of someone else’s, or simply altar my own into something palatable.

Creative minds work this way.

As a child I used to dream about who my family might be. I am the adopted child in a family of not adopted people. And while I loved them and did not consider them to be anything but my family, still in a small corner of my mind lived a question mark and a dream of who I might really be, what I could have been born into had my parents chosen that. My invisible friends were whole families that looked remarkably like sitcom families…

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Remembering

image1She glances out the window and realizes all of the time that has passed.    The reflection looking back at her, aged, the lines deepened and reveal the roads she has traveled.    Her thoughts of him come rushing in.

Kindness, a heart of gold, his children were the apple of his eye.   The way he loved and lived, always full of abundance and joy.    A tear begins to form in her eye, and trickles down her cheek.  She wonders why?   Seems so unfair how he was taken so quickly.

She glances at the clock, as the hands move tick tock, she realizes that each second is a choice.     Remembering the past and the precious moments shared trigger so many memories.   The reflection also triggers thoughts around how she chooses to live.   She wants to be immersed every second of every moment in the love for family and friends.    She wants to choose to live now, and not get caught up in the stuff that doesn’t matter.   She chooses love and joy.  To live now and to never take for granted a single second.

She bows her head and pauses to pray for the ones left behind.      Lord give them strength, wrap your arms around them, give them strength and help them heal from the inside out.   Guide them in all things and replace the sadness with joy.

She has been left behind a few times, but remembers the good memories and smiles.   Her heart is thankful that she experienced moments with the ones who rose above.    The moments gave her perspective, great joy, and memories that will always warm her heart.

 

 

The Power of Choice

power of choice

As a young girl I didn’t realize that my thoughts created my reality.   Years later, as I look back in time, I was often a victim.   Yes, there were circumstances that contributed to this way of thinking, but I was in the dysfunctional emotional triangle.

It is so easy to fall into the triangle of dysfunction.   There are three roles:

  • The Victim: thoughts of poor me, why do they treat me this way, life is always hard, actions that demonstrate feeling unworthy, and the world is against you.
  • The Savior: thoughts of I can save them, they need my help, I need to rescue the situation, actions that demonstrate a sense of urgency at every corner, helping put out fires and acting like superwoman/man in every situation.
  • The Persecutor: thoughts of why did they do that, they caused the problem, it was all their fault, at every corner this person plays the blame game.

Do you see a theme here?   Emotionally driven reactions.     When we are in this triangle we cannot see the situation for what it is.     I was in this triangle for most of my life.   How exhausting hey?   But when you are use to a state of drama in your life, that’s what gravitates towards you on a continual basis.

This leads me to the power of choice.   We all have the power to choose a reaction, and a state that is different.  I have heard people say that I have always been this way, that’s just me, can’t change.   I will respectfully disagree, because we all have the power to choose a different response.   The power of choice is an amazing thing.

There was a moment in my life where everything shifted, and I realized that I had the power to move forward or the power to become a victim of my circumstances.  This occurred when I almost lost my life.    My injury was one that 10% of those people that have the injury survive and live a life where they are able to function normally.   Odds totally against me right?  WRONG.

My choice was to believe in something beyond all of our understanding, to trust in Him completely and move forward in His grace.    Looking back it was a scary time, so much unknown.   I am not free from physical pain, but I choose to believe in the best outcome.  My fracture in my neck never healed or fused completely, but I choose a life that is full.

Every moment of every day I choose to see the good.   There are times where the old habits catch me a bit, and I fall back in for a few moments, but I pull myself back out.    The power of choice is an amazing thing.

YOU my friend have the power to choose the good before the bad, to move forward in your life and create your own silver lining in every circumstance.    What you put out there in life comes full circle.  Do you choose to project the good?   Because I am telling you once you remove the drama, and the emotional dysfunction, life becomes sooooo good.

 

May you be blessed my friend, and know you have the power inside of you in every moment.

~Ness

The Butterfly Princess

a beautiful life ministry

IMG_7562There once was a little girl who dreamed that one day she would become a princess.  She would meet her prince and he would carry her away to a place where there was no pain.    Over the years as the girl began to grow, her heart was hardened by hurts and her dreams slowly drifted away.   But He knew that some day the girl would come out of her cocoon, He promised her abundance, and although she didn’t quite believe, He would be her miracle worker.

The cocoon – protection and insulation from the outside world.  Isolation to ensure that she remained strong.    Each layer is comprised of anger, fear, resentment, hurt and sadness.

The evil one watched the cocoon and preyed on her weakness.  He continued to wear her thoughts, actions and feed the fears in her heart.  She had no strength to break through.

But the He knew that inside…

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Gratitude

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What if you could choose to be thankful every single day of your life? Sounds like a feat doesn’t it?  But YOU can make it your reality.    

This may be hard to believe amidst the chaos in our lives today.    We race, we run, we are burning the candle at both ends.   What I have realized is it all comes down to balance, and a choosing to focus on what’s working. 

Age is a wonderful thing isn’t it?     The wrinkles are not fun, but our perspective changes and shifts.   If only I could go back in time and tell my younger self to care less about what everyone else thinks.     If you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self?

I would tell my younger self:

1)      You matter – and in order to make yourself a priority you need to love yourself fully from the inside out.

2)      You can – you can do anything you set your mind to – yes it all takes work but if you can see it – you can make it happen.

3)      Love makes the world go round – focus on the ones that need love, and the ones that love you back.    As you show love in your actions, it will come back two fold.

4)      Lead by example – don’t engage in negative talk, remove yourself from all drama.  This will remove most of the stress from your life.

5)      Concentrate on the ones that matter – those people that reciprocate in relationships and where it feels easy.  Don’t force relationships.

6)      Always forgive and let go – this will help you to move forward instead of backward.

7)      Don’t be hard on yourself – there are going to be a million people hard on you in your life so don’t you be one of them.  You need to feed yourself LOVE.

8)      Be thankful every day – start and end your day with gratitude.  Find a couple of things in the day that really made you feel good (small and big).

9)      It is impossible to be 100% to everyone – that bar of being 100% is inside your head.   Let go of being your worst critic.

10)   Live – really live!  Concentrate on the good, and what is working in this life.

Today, when I glance around my life, I am filled with gratitude.   I have so much love, and this life is grand.   Yes there are going to be times where we feel depleted, but YOU have the power to choose a positive perspective.     Life is messy – and that is ok.   It is HOW we choose to spend our time, energy and love that makes all the difference.

As you look at your life and your day today, take some time to take stock of the good.

May you be blessed my friend,

Dear Vanessa ~ The Power Within

a beautiful life ministry

the power withinWe are complex creatures – we live, we love, we feel, we work, and we endure.     Underneath each beautifully made human being are hurts, joy, and a mixture of moments that have built us to be who we are.     We are a masterpiece, each of us is beautifully made, and the artist who created us is beyond all comprehension.   He empowers each one of us with his love.

I believe He made us to discover that love is the center of all being and life. We all share an interconnection of love.   While our journey of love may be different, we are all here to experience this intense feeling that is driven by Him.  

Everything starts and finishes with Love.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” (John…

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the girl in the tattered dress

a beautiful life ministry

girl-in-light-darkness-1437166-638x542

Once there was a girl and the girl longed to be friend of the King. But the girl lived in a tavern on the edge of a village, far from the castle of the King. Not only did she live in the tavern, but she was a servant there, serving drunken men who leered at her, young boys who spat and laughed at her, and the occasional woman who looked down upon her with disgust. She spoke to no one and no one spoke to her, except to demand a job from her.

The girl’s face was always dirty, her nails were broken, her hair unwashed, and her dress tattered. Most days she knew she was broken, alone, unlovable, and worthless. But on the darkest of days she still felt, deep inside, that the King in his castle far up on the mountain was a good King. The knowledge that there was…

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