Friendships – we all have them. Over the years, I have come to realize that these gems in my life really help me navigate through life’s hills and valleys. As a young girl, I wanted so bad to be accepted. I wanted that special friendship that many girls had, and many times I was envious. We moved around a lot and it sometimes was hard to make lasting relationships. But life has come full circle for me, and I am so fortunate to have a few friends that make me laugh until my stomach hurts, and help me navigate through the ups and downs in this life. God has been so good to me; He gave me what I needed in His perfect time.
I have sorted through what makes a good friend many times, and there has been times in my life where I thought the relationship was something it wasn’t. There are seasons in friendships too, people change, we evolve, we shift, and our focus changes. Sometimes we have to let go, and see where the relationship goes. Sometimes it will leave and come back. Flexibility with the changes is key – if the relationship can be flexible, it likely will last.
Some of the elements that I believe are essential in a great friendship are:
- The friendship is built on trust. What you see is what you get, if there is ever a bump or problem you can deal with it open and honestly.
- There is no envy or jealousy that exists in the relationship. You truly are happy when something good happens to the friend you love. You don’t wish for what they may have, rather you are excited for them and want to throw a party for their new opportunities.
- You want the best for them no matter what. Sometimes this means being the only honest one in their lives to tell them when something may not be working. You hurt for them when they receive the information, but you know that you have their best interests at heart.
- The relationship is easy. It is not forced in any way. It should be effortless in all interactions.
- You pick up where you left off every time you see each other. No time has passed. It seems like it was just yesterday that you saw each other.
- There are no expectations; the relationship is based on love and is unconditional. As we overlay expectations, if someone does not fulfill the expectation there is disappointment. The expectations of ourselves are different, we are not facing what the other person is facing in their day to day life, and therefore we should remove judgement from the circumstance, and always respond in love and understanding. Seek first to understand.
- You can be completely honest always.
I am so very fortunate to have a few relationships like this. I am thankful for my girls that keep me strong and give me a strong cup of coffee when I need it. I am also thankful for the times where we laugh so hard that our stomachs hurt. Thank-you for the wrinkles. I am thankful for you, and wanted you to know it.