dear vanessa ~ forgiveness and letting go


Dear Vanessa ~ forgiveness

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

dec dear v 1

Dear Vanessa,

I was hurt, how could a group of women I trusted decide to let a web of nastiness form?   Honestly, I felt like I was in high school again, the talking, the rumours.     I just don’t know how to go back to where we were before all this started.    The root of the issue is trust.    I thought I finally had found a group of friends I could trust.   

Having a hard time with this one,


Dearest Lena,

This is a tough one, I am sure you are feeling hurt.    I believe we all have been in this circumstance, where we feel like someone has hurt us in some way with words.    But I want to share with you a powerful first step forward.


A huge word, but do we truly know How to?


Sometimes there are moments that hold you back.   Moments of extreme…

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Achilles Heel or God’s Grace?

Detail_of_Achilles_thniskonAn Achilles heel is a deadly weakness in spite of overall strength, which can actually or potentially lead to downfall. While the mythological origin refers to a physical vulnerability, idiomatic references to other attributes or qualities that can lead to downfall are common. (wikipedia)

As I sit here today, I ponder and wonder.    I wonder about the pain, and ask myself how much more.   But I am learning how to cope, and realizing that I must not lean on my own understanding of this life.    Although I see my life through a different lens, and can look back and see a glimpse of the “why”,  I still do not know how this story will unfold.

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33)

The moments that seem ugly are not of God, but sometimes the bad happens for the good to come.   He knows this, and is the only one that knows the future.

Free will…  We have the power to choose how we respond to the moments that make us gasp for air.

These past four years have been quite the journey.    My Achilles Heel is seeing the ones I love in pain of any sort.    It is an item that is out of my control, and fear begins to set in.   Fear sits, it bubbles, and becomes bigger.

We received some news this week about my dad now.    I feel tired, I feel weak, and ask “why”?

He reassures…

He says breathe….

He says come and rest…..

I was watching the movie this weekend God’s Not Dead.   It is a story of a professor that tells his class that they will only pass his class if they declare God’s Dead on a piece of paper.   Intimidation.  Fear.  It sets in and bubbles, and through the nervousness, all students begin to write these words on a piece of paper.

It takes only one, for the good of many.

Then one young man just cannot write the words it is against his complete being.   He tells the professor he cannot write the words on paper as he would be denying God.   It takes one to stand up, one to keep plugging along; through one others see.

The journey is not easy, but sometimes we are meant to take it so others can come along for the ride.    

In this movie, there is a section that explains that Satan leaves unbelievers alone (physically, mentally,etc).   He does this because he doesn’t want them to come to God.  Often pain causes us to come closer.   All that comes from the Devil is evil and bad.   All good that comes into our lives is from God.   Good vs Evil.  Good or God always overcomes.   Always.

There is no question that my Achilles Heel has been attacked repeatedly these past few years. But is it really my Achilles Heel or is it God’s Grace?

God’s Good Grace.

I lift my eyes to God, and I have hope and trust good will come from these experiences.   There is no doubt that when God looked on the trials that His son experienced, there was heartache and pain.   But so much good came from the blood of Jesus.  We all are promised something beyond our wildest dreams.

God will heal, restore, and make all things good. God has promised us the greatest gift.

So today as I find out some news that does not feel the greatest, I say I trust You God to protect my family and heal their bodies of their ailments from the inside out.   I lean not on my own understanding and ask that you be my eye’s to see, my ear’s to hear, and my mouth to speak.  You are in control.  In Jesus Name Amen.

Living for the Moment


“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33, NIV).

As I read this today, I paused and realized how very fortunate I have been in my life.   God has granted me a life that is full.   There have been moments that took my breath away, but I believe these moments we are meant to experience fully.  Some moments may not be ideal, but they bring us where we need to be.   The light always overcomes the darkness.

As I drive to work every day, on my ride I am overcome by God’s goodness, His faithfulness, His never-ending love, His forgiveness.  I start my morning ride with a prayer, “be my eyes to see what you want me to see, be my ears to hear the words you want me to hear, be my mouth to speak what you want me to speak….”  I pray this with conviction and ask for God to direct my children and husband in the same way.   I then pause, and cry, my eyes water and I feel full of thankfulness.  “Thank-you God for saving me, and giving me a second chance.”

You see not long ago, 4 years ago (January 2011), life changed in a moment.   The moment felt like forever, seconds seemed like minutes, diving into the pool a whisper said, “You are going to be ok, but brace yourself, this is going to be tough, brace your neck.”  The reassurance I felt to my core, and I knew it was Him.     A few days later I had my halo, a halo brace that weighed 8lbs.  A c1 fracture that not many survive displaced and never healed on paper.   But by the grace of God, I chose to TRUST in him.     He has shown me so much, and His grace has extended beyond my greatest expectations.   

By His grace this is what I am learning:

  • Life is about the moments that take your breath away good and bad.
  • Trusting in Him is the only way.
  • Don’t give up when you feel like you can’t take it any-more, He has overcome the world!
  • Start and end the day with Him, He will help me navigate through the days struggles.
  • Family is what matters, live every moment in Love for family, friends and those close to you.
  • Extend a hand when you feel like you can’t. Whether it is sharing a smile or giving love, support to those in need.  We all are hurting, reach out and touch someone, it will make a difference.
  • Live for today, don’t look back.
  • Don’t judge, everyone has a story and we are all children of His.
  • Forgiveness goes a long way, let it go and give it to Him.
  • Love, love, love, spread the love, it has ripple effects.
  • Be grateful, live a life of gratitude. It’s all in the attitude!
  • God is in control, all we have control of is our response.

Thank-you God for all of your love.  Thank-you for leading me to a place I would never change.   Father, I pray that  my days will be filled with your grace.  I thank-you Father for saving me in so many ways and for the blood of Jesus, that promises us a life where the sun is always shining.  You promises are everlasting and I love you with my whole heart.

As you pause this season, may you take all of the moments in fully.  May you be blessed my friends over this season where we have so much to be thankful for.


What are you grateful for today?  Live for today and spread the love!

If you have a question or a musing for me would love to hear from you, send me an email at

dear vanessa ~ little miracles


Dear Vanessa ~ Little Miracles #miracleshappen

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

nov little miracles

Peace within.

These are the feelings that come from being immersed in the moment.

God tells us ~

“do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth” (Matthew 6:19)

What is He really asking of us? 

Have you ever wondered if what you do makes a difference? I want to encourage you that it does. Our actions create reactions that have ripple effects.

Do you ever feel like you want to pinch yourself in those moments when life just takes you by surprise? Is this real? How did I get so lucky?

A moment…

  • Love one another ~ and pray for those who may hurt you.
  • Turn the other cheek
  • love your enemies
  • Love others as you would love yourself.
  • Do not judge
  • Forgive and let it go
  • Be anxious in nothing
  • Be thankful
  • Give
  • Pray

Every moment lived we have a choice. We can choose to embrace…

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Stepping Out In Faith & Embracing The Moment

Step out in faithEvery moment holds something in its hand.    Whether it be a learning, an experience, or just a moment to be still and breathe.
It is easy to get caught up in the moment, to let fear, anger, and resentment take over.   But we all have the ability to control how we choose to respond.   We can choose to let go, to not give in to the hurt, pain and unhappiness.
Perspective is everything.    When you look in the mirror of your life what do you see?  When I start my day I pause, and ask for strength and perspective.
Dear Lord God,
Be my eyes to see what you want me to see,
Be my ears to hear your whisper of guidance and direction,
Be my mouth to speak words of forgiveness and love,
Use me, guide me, help me.
It’s you who I choose to see in the moment.
It’s your grace that guides me.
It’s your love that helps me see.
I lift it up to You.
I choose to let go.
You are my direction,
You are in control.
It’s through you that I become whole again.
When I look in the mirror, I see a woman who has come through this life stronger than before.   I see the times where I was carried, I see the times where the brokenness was set free.   By His grace, I picked myself back up.  He held out His hand, and asked me “Step out in Faith my child, and trust ME”.    Thankful for Him waiting patiently, guiding, and giving me more than I could ever expect in this life.   
In the mirror I see a life that is full, a life that has abundance,  and a ton of love.

dear vanessa ~ love of siblings


Dear Vanessa ~ love of siblings #love #siblings

Originally posted on a beautiful life ministry:

nov siblings vanessa

Dear Vanessa,

Ever since I was young, it seemed to be a constant battle for recognition, affection and love.   Over the years I have grown to resent my sister as it seems to me that she received an easier road.    She was young; the baby of the family, life seemed easier.   The rules were non-existent, and I took on the motherly role.  I see that over the years that her resentment for me has too grown, I often wonder if it is because we never truly acted as sisters or simply a mother-child relationship.    Navigation through the dynamics has been difficult.  Any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated.   



Dearest Tanya,

That’s a tough one.   I do think many of us have experienced difficulty with siblings.   This is normal, what would life be without challenge?

Whether it is being the oldest, and feeling like life was “tougher”…

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A Moment ~ A Miracle

precious momentsHave you ever wondered if what you do makes a difference?  I want to tell you that it does.  Our actions create reactions, and have ripple effects.

Do you ever feel like you want to pinch yourself in those moments where life just takes you by surprise?  Is this real?  How did I get so lucky?

A moment…

It can send you back in time, it can make you feel like life is worth living, and sometimes it can just take your breath away.

Every moment, we have a choice.  We can choose to embrace everything it is.   

This moment can be our miracle.

A little child smiles with wonder, laughs so hard he can barely breathe.

The sun shines brilliantly, and catches your eyes, the rays reach out, and warmth fills your heart.

You meet someone that needs a kind word, you feel like you could use the same, but decide that you want to extend your hand.

You are tired, but muster up enough energy to push through.   You have faith.

Someone you love is hurting, you hug, you care, you reach out.

Someone you see needs support, you smile you offer a hand.

Reaching out to comfort, to love, to show compassion.

These are the everyday miracles that make life worth living.   Each action has a reaction, a ripple effect.

Sometimes it may feel like you have nothing left.  Believe me I understand this, but I have seen how simple actions create such a difference. 

Simple actions, selfless actions, expecting nothing in return.  

Yes in this world there is hurt, there is pain, and injustice.   We can overcome it, with simple actions.   A word or an action and a little bit of love.  Simple actions.

It is through each other we draw strength, we combat the pain. 

                I choose to focus on love.

                I choose to combat the pain.

                I choose to focus on what I can do.

                I choose gratitude.

What simple action can you create in your life today?   It may be for a loved one, it may be a cuddle or hug or maybe it is a smile for a friend that is hurting, or perhaps it is someone you don’t know… 

Take a step, create a reaction my friend.  Your action will have ripple effects.

I am thankful for waking up today, for sharing some laughs and a smile from a courageous woman, for having a house full of love and laughter, and for sharing kindness with kids.

Life is a gift, and I choose to live every moment to the fullest.

May you be blessed,